So long now my days have cracked

Slowly now they’ve bent, exactly

When the shattering happened, I can’t

Be sure. But I know my illness grows

With every passing lure. I do not bite

Or worry, or hide

I simply watch with impassive eyes.

The currents drag me along by my skin, but

I don’t care enough to let them in, or

To fight the whirling flow. I

Do not swim, or sink, or float

I simply drown in the undertow, my lungs afloat

Within the pools of pain I try to escape.

Someday maybe I’ll

Breathe air again.

As long as i don’t




Difficult to verbalize,
Impossible to deny.
A growing, gnawing, empty-filling

Real, intense, dependent isolation;
A furiously strong intention.
Expanding truth, aching eyes,
Heavy hearts designed to cry.

This deepening, this flowing flood
This hurtling rush of dizzying blood.
The colors I see are monochromatic to me
Beside your eyes, the oceans I breathe.


your existence sparks my heart

i ache for your embrace, the way we slid into nothingness

silence except for my shivering, the cold biting through my coat

you leaned over, speaking


then you stopped talking and i stopped listening,

you were curled over me, then you pulled me onto you as we breathed and i followed your lead, my fingers curved onto your chest, the memory eludes me, hazy at best

i remember your lips

and your teeth, and your breath

i wish i could feel it again and again

but memories will have to do until we are both

healed and ready

for this.