Seas

So long now my days have cracked

Slowly now they’ve bent, exactly

When the shattering happened, I can’t

Be sure. But I know my illness grows

With every passing lure. I do not bite

Or worry, or hide

I simply watch with impassive eyes.

The currents drag me along by my skin, but

I don’t care enough to let them in, or

To fight the whirling flow. I

Do not swim, or sink, or float

I simply drown in the undertow, my lungs afloat

Within the pools of pain I try to escape.

Someday maybe I’ll

Breathe air again.

As long as i don’t

Suffocate

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Roots

Difficult to verbalize,
Impossible to deny.
A growing, gnawing, empty-filling

Real, intense, dependent isolation;
A furiously strong intention.
Expanding truth, aching eyes,
Heavy hearts designed to cry.

This deepening, this flowing flood
This hurtling rush of dizzying blood.
The colors I see are monochromatic to me
Beside your eyes, the oceans I breathe.

Kiss

your existence sparks my heart

i ache for your embrace, the way we slid into nothingness

silence except for my shivering, the cold biting through my coat

you leaned over, speaking

asking

then you stopped talking and i stopped listening,

you were curled over me, then you pulled me onto you as we breathed and i followed your lead, my fingers curved onto your chest, the memory eludes me, hazy at best

i remember your lips

and your teeth, and your breath

i wish i could feel it again and again

but memories will have to do until we are both

healed and ready

for this.