It is hard to weep in light, my
Sadness craves the night
past time when I am long alone, when skydark hits and mutes the known
I cry softly on my own.
I did not know that stones
When will this grief stop its roaming, and settle
more quietly into a home? I cannot
be like this much longer or my tears
will fill my lungs.
I’m drowning from above, and no one
Has offered me any way up
To see the sky and breathe again
To where the sea is not flooding my oxygen
And cursing my skin with its sting.
I would love to care about such trivialities
Something, but empty
The anxiety wriggles and vines.
Curling leaves that shimmer and bleed
And shower my skull in their crying.
Help me, please, my nothingness screams
I ache for a respite from the chaos investment
Nobody truly knows
You know me like no other.
Your love searches my heart
And guides it through the rubble.
I whimper weakly, wrought of nothing.
The dark delights in my lack of words.
I cannot even think before you.
Your might is astounding, Your mercy undeserved…
I think I’ve thought a single praise but nothing grazes Your worth
Elohim Shama, I want to listen as well as I’m heard.
Inscribe your servant as an etched silver ring
The bent, battered spoons of the bracelets we wring
Seal on my heart as the concrete and glue
Carve it in me so I may not leave you.
My shadows all die in the unnaming…
Found me an orphan, once lost, a pariah.
Shackle me to freedom, lift me to sing;
Newly titled; bond-slave of the Messiah.
Well my unknowing met my feeling
And the two have gone to quarreling
They do not like to share.
And the heart-space, rarely there, has grown weary of their fight.
I will simply call it a night
Pause by the door, expecting your snore
I halt in the hallway, kill the words on my lips
I call for a name that no longer exists.