i fear

i fear
that you will see me here
that you will take three steps back
enraged by what you find
amazed and lost at the same time
i fear
all the things that you could say
but more i fear the game we’ll play
i fear the words that i will stutter
when i’m alone i pretend and i mutter
like i’m speaking to you but when finally we meet
the shouts in my head all suddenly cease
they leave me alone with nothing to speak
i’m totally undefended before your blue eyes
with nothing but memories of the tears that i cried
you brought pain and sorrow and sickness, it’s true
but mostly i fear the thinking you’ll do.
how i wish i could know
the thoughts in your head
about me
i’ll have to pretend

he walks alone

Holder of shadows and time and dismay,
Keeper of Questions that we never say.
Despairing Prince of every sad song,
He thinks of you often, yet he walks alone.

With shame in our eyes, we turn away,
ignoring the tide that is drowning this place.
Questing for riches and gems and whatnot,
we forget ourselves and the battles we’ve fought.

Now with a dying breath, finally he speaks,
To a girl he has longed for without ever being heard.
these last words to a woman in vain that he seeks,
He says she must know how he loved her.

Tears of rage, and bitter loss,
stain my cheeks as here I stand.
Above the grave of you, my love,
How I wish once more could I hold your hand.

Voids and Chasms

Like a white-hot wave of anger, of dust,
I feel this pain without any relent.
As though someone close hath broken my trust
I feel all my strength, all my resolve, it is spent.

With a dead-eyed stare and limping forth,
I cannot tell you why I flounder.
For if I knew, why should I mourn?
My confusion could be no sounder.

Yet stoic and silent my desperation doth reign,
In a cloudy fog lay my heart, all my burdens.
Without hope, without effort, I gaze with disdain,
Nothing now, in this time, can be certain.

An ache doth protrude from the chasm my chest,
Where once lay a molten gold river.
We e’er laugh with cold eyes although none doth jest,
Because in the silence devoid feel we agony’s shiver.

Breathe doth we slowly, for none here can fathom,
What hath come for us now from the night.
With voided smiles we collapse to the chasms,
Where once lived our hearts and their light.

Breaking in quiet, and snap!- like a whip,
Everything once we felt is a roar.
From psychosis the nectar we sip,
While Hades the palace we tour.

Laughing, unblinking, with smiles like the moon,
Our skies long since have fallen black.
Our mechanical faces shall need oil soon,
Lest we crumble despite- lest now, we go back.

Clink! There’s the toast,
And our souls shiver still.
A fake jubilee, a ridiculous boast,
And we laugh as we weep as we kill.