Fear disguised

Part of missing someone
Is fear
It is a longing but also anxiety
That the longing will never cease to be
It is a quiet thought in the back of one’s mind, at best
That whispers relentlessly
“What if?”
And wondering begins,
“What if they do not want me anymore?”
“What if life tears them away from me?”
“What if,” it screams. So softly, “what if?”
But with you that voice has quieted
Your presence has become so real
I no longer fear life without you
Because it is so certain you will stay
I do not fear you leaving
Or your deciding not to keep me
Because of the way we laugh together.
I assume your return to my side
I await the glow of your light.
I know you’ll always want me
Because we speak of love as a choice,
Not a flighty emotion or a chemical voice.
We seek guidance in all that we do,
Living for God and His word and truth.
The love from Him, it casts out terror! No shadow of petrification remains.
His grace soothes with delight, it transforms every dark night, and I no longer waste worry over change.
So missing you does not hurt like that
Although the ache is real
When you are missing from my side, I am sad-
But such a fear is not something I feel.


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