Tonight the dam just burst inside
I cried so little
But felt so much.
I felt betrayed
Or laughable; why me?
Why is something constantly wrong with my frail eggshell body?
I felt sick of all the sickness
And deformed bones
And nerves that don’t work properly
And blood capillaries
But when the few-tears and much-pain
Ran out; I remembered.
That my God took away the capillaries that danced so wickedly inside me.
He healed the nerves that made me ache like a broken toy
And did so out of love.
So for me to pity
Myself based on what little problems remain;
Is so ridiculous. It is not as if I lack a lung or limp about crippled and lame.
My rib floats and bends and aches
So what? I am alive.
It hurts me sometimes to breathe;
And yet fresh air still gives me life.
I am sorry for my narrative
Of pity and wallowing rage.
sometimes I need to sit and cry
To move on past this stage.
My God will gently wait for me
As I weep about life’s-not-fair;
He’ll hold me tight when I approach
With my foolish, childlike complaints-
And He will wipe away my tears.