I recognize that ivy!
No, ivy all looks the same.
The foliage in my eyes has come and gone
And come again.
Living in a swaying plain of monolithic grass
Of monsters huge enough to kill with a single crack
My smile brightly blunders through the aging sky above
And of all the stars within my soul, I can find no one to love.
Folder of small paper hearts.
Wearer of trinkets which in actuality
Are shattered disasters of lovers-to-be.
My eyes have set on the dawn of new days
I’ve let happen what I did not want
My heart has snickered in countless new ways
now pain streaks across your horizons.
A mantra passed and dead because
Of the heart it was given to;
Has once again arisen
From the ashes, bright and new
To stumble down some old pathway
And bind itself to you.
Have you ever been so full of something
That you cannot write?
The rage or love or endless doubt
Won’t manifest inside?
Rather it encompasses
The person you once were;
And so, inflamed, you let them cage
And break your burning heart.
Over w h e l m i n g
Pulls me under; I drift in
Stars that burst in black and red
And drown my heart before I swim.
All these things and many more
Pain that lacerates my core
Falling trees in dewdrop lakes
Shake my soul and show your face.
I saw a figure walking toward me
Wreathed in colorful perfume
Her eyes were lit with shifting flame
That cured my illest, darkest gloom.
I perceived a future passed
Which featured me most prominent;
My worth was not a shifting dance
And I freely sang Your song again.
The woman wreathed in scents was I,
As should be in another time.
Lit instead from deep within,
Her flames not earthly but Divine.
She laughed as freely as I sigh,
And firelight flickered from her eyes.
From deep within I felt a cry;
Longing for the me which died.
So came I to a place of smoke;
And took a knee to search about,
For someone who would hear my cause.
To my side there came a presence
Overwhelming, warm as love itself
I wept for perfection which instead
Of condemnation longed to help.
So returned I to a future renewed
The true path was re-affirmed
I sought out He who breathes the stars
Who heals with Fire our earthly burns.
By grace I became the lady in color
Whose confidence did abound;
Wreathed in the love of my beautiful savior,
My drifting soul had been found.
I am disgusted with my word-mongering
Flippant and useless forging, like the waste of good iron
I clasp my cup of cluttered words
And spill them carelessly, without design.
Sometimes the feelings build inside
And they frighten me with the strength of their tides
So I gather my weapons of syllables, sounds
And I cast the emotions
So many words to capture this feeling;
This dark slumbering now brightened
So many thoughts that spiral around
A cyclone of rushing, which inside is silent.
Breathe in clarity for the first time in decades
Enjoy the oxygen’s dizzying rush
Leave behind bitterness, anger, frustration
Welcome home your recovering Trust.
You drive me CRAZY
Every word like slivers of ice
Digging in my brain and melting
Leaving no trace but the damage they’ve done.
I fear what will follow this infatuation
I fear who I may end up
Will the winds of love erode my eyes
Til I cannot see without your help?
I did not want to feel this
I did not want this heart,
Caged by brutal human thought
Entrapped by what it starts.
Release me from your sly embrace
I do not want all this again
I want to be an island in grace
Alone in emotional abstinence.