Who Am I

I am reminded all over again
How grateful — overwhelmingly so — to serve a God the likes of which this world could never deserve.
How kind and strong and merciful and swift and just and ceaselessly LOVING You are. I
CANNOT fathom, nor can I truly express gratitude to the correct degree.
Instead I fumble at useless scuffed-up words and cry tears of longing and awe to give You more than what I have.
You are beyond me, Lord of light and love. Thank You for all that You are. I am infinitely small and weak, and you are immeasurably strong and eternal.
Thank You.

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Anyway

Perfection cannot thrive here
And shadows still will dance
So I will breathe in the good and bad
And let the mixture be romance.

Do not wonder if the stars are true
Or if my heart is yet to leave
I will not wander away from you
Unless you first let go of me.

Daydream

My thoughts of you are so vivid at times
I turn to speak, and to my surprise
You were never there at all.

Goodnight

To fall asleep with thoughts of you
While rain paints endless winding tunes
On all my windowsills
Is surely more than I deserve.

To wonder if your heartbeat sleeps
As soundly in your arms as I
Is a question for another life.

Goodnight.

I thought,

“So often I write to myself
My words glitter for me alone.”

But now I know
My soul is fettered with the weight
Of a thousand other hearts
My screaming pain collaborates
With the grief-torn and alone.

I know
You feel it too.

Just Sleep

If tears don’t stain your pillowcase
Every blue moon or so,
Are you really even human?
Let night fold in, and hold you close
and fret not your current agonies.

Nostalgic Prayer

Someday I’ll look back and be astounded
Someday I’ll reminisce and be amazed
at all the ways my life has changed;
tears shed for deaths we all regret —
friendships, friends, desires… dead.

Someday I’ll wonder just what happened
Where all the sunlit years have gone
My heartbeat then will go to sleep
my words will breathe no more.

I long for absolution from the starrer of the skies
the one who galaxied creation
and all the colors in your eyes.

Let my skin cease to glow
the day my colors fade.
and otherwise my spirit grow
in love and mercy night and day.