We almost fell apart that night
Because I was a snarling mess
We didn’t know it then, but
The exhaustion inside me was dancing a snare into effect
You pushed the food closer, I sat on the floor
“Baby, please eat, you need it more
Than you think”
You did not sound strong and reassuring and heroic
You sounded vulnerable and weak
Because you were,
Because I was.
I am your open wound.
Over eager or under loved
Care too much or just shut up
So sensitive. A spilling cup
Of pain or joy – it all depends.
I will praise you in agony
I will praise you in doubt
I will praise you when confusion and pain threaten to take me down
I will praise you on sleepless nights, of which there will be many
I will praise you in the heartache and the stabbing pain within me
I will praise you when the comfort flees
I’ll praise you when I’m consumed by agony
I’ll praise you
I’ll praise you
I’ll praise you all the more.
Happy Nothing, my love!
Happy Day of Extra.
I hope your No-Holiday
is kind to you.
I just wanted to say
In a special way as we celebrate
(Normally I’d have a gift for you, because you deserve it, but seeing as it’s always Nothing-Special season here
It wouldn’t do to shower you with gifts. Others would wonder
Just what’s going on. I don’t think they see how splendid No-Special-Celebration-Day
[also known as every day]
is with you
Because you’re always with me, so how could they?)
I rebuke you, enemy!
The lion snarls in frustration.
I claim His name in authority!
The beast shudders in rage.
begone from me in Jesus’ name!
Sharp teeth, curled lips, a growing darkness.
In the name of I Am, Jehovah-Jireh, Elohim, El Shaddai — He is known by many names — Be GONE, foul beast!
My soul is His eternally.
The panic-creeping surges through me
Fear and suffering, beautiful anxiety
Someday I know the pain will bloom
For now love makes it grow.
I WANT TO FEEL THINGS AGAIN
NOT JUST PAIN BUT JOY
NOT JUST agony but OVERWHELMING SUNLIGHT
BRING BACK THE DAYSKY AND BANISH THE NIGHT
SHOW ME I’M ALRIGHT
Good morning. I love you
My thoughts of you are like no others
Nor are those of others as numerous.
My heart for you is steady and virtuous
It desires love made of honor and trust.
My eyes for you are soft and curled
The eyelids wrinkled with endless days
Of smiling at you when you’re turned away.
My feet for you are quick with glee
Worn with the pavement but youthful and free.
My fingers for you are grasping and open
Searching for yours to be interlocked and woven.
My dreams for you are tired and pale
Compared to the shimmer of colors I see
when you’re actually, really, entirely
I open up my mind to breathe
The shadow-diamonds fall from me
A breath of release, the chimings cease
And tears bleed as the howlings flee.
My words aren’t…
The world isn’t…
We will never…
…have to earn your love.