Understand what I am suffering.
There is no one who loves as I Am.
The agony shattering me would stop your heart
I’ve shown you only a part of the pain I feel
For your cousins and loved ones and EVERYONE, ALL OF WHICH I HOLD
Who are lost.
I will free them at any cost.”
I doubt my soul will ever rest
Knowing there are those in eternal distress
How can I find peace when a wanderer meets
Such a fiery, empty demise?
I WANT THEM ALL TO REACH PARADISE
WILL NOTHING EVER BE RIGHT?
HOW COULD YOU LET THEM DIE
the lesson I thought I’d learned has returned
To mock my weeping faith.
No! My spirit screams
Your lies will not affect me.
I know who I am and to whom I belong and my King is not yours in defeat.
His love cannot be overcome
because it’s extended to everyone
So goodbye fear and terror
and farewell to you, hate
You’ll starve as you watch me drink and feast beside the King of Grace.
It’s hard to speak when speaking waits
With tangled hearts and inky space
A thought, a-clutter, several mustered
So well delivered, they dam the river
Your words cannot spill out.
They, sickly, sow fever and doubt.
And the guttural sounds clot the river-route
So the wailing cannot break free.
and the poison stirs
faster in me.
The peace that comes is signature
When joy cannot be explained (or hurt!) or seen
We look to the stars and believe.
What heavy rebuke has coated my throat
The wonder and light have billowed like smoke
Now left I express a bond with regret
That my joy could have remained instead.
Closing my eyes at the end of a long day
And feeling the burn in the lids die away
Is as exquisite a moment, as cathartic as can be
I’ll choose to sit vigil another hour (or three).