You throw your stones
I drop my own
You claim to love, but drown and disown
You hunt the truth like it’s a wild beast
Unleashing all your traps
And like a thief, you string it up
(Never mind it’s dead and hung)
You beat the Truth with mindless fists
And claim you know it in your righteousness.
“You are weak,” you say to me.
but I am strong enough to see
that you’re no more than a Pharisee.
The waiting-tar that scars my bones
Sticky sweet and ill, repeat
The mantras that you own.
Fear and disgust
Wretched retching, freezing, snaking
Shaking on the floor.
Naked, fearful, colored, tearful
Sick from pills and steam
Caught in between delight and death
Where wicked torment gleams.
You don’t want me anymore
You found someone more convenient. I’m happy for you and this new life you’re living
I pray it’s everything you were wanting
Sometimes it’s not easy
Sharing a face.
I want to be myself, but
I feel like
I could be replaced.
Ah! I propagate such worthless states
I kindle hearts with eating-haste
I sip the silver lip of eyes
The gourds of flame, of fire and ice
I whirl the spinning and purloin their stares
I whistle and whip up the ferryman’s wares
I catch my breath on the current of thought
And my oil-slick heart bleeds — a lot.
Return me, wild confidence
I beckon from the wind.
Let go my fierce uncaring eyes
And their soulful fighting grin.
Somehow my body slumbers alive
And every instinct cuts and dies
My heartbeat thunders, drags my bones
While I sleep my body roams.
It has been days and days since I wrote of you
But the words still gathered, just did not edge through
Fiercer now my claim describes
An inner flame, a fire, a tithe
My sacrifice will have to do
For I intend to belong with you.
Perhaps I am selfish
Or cruel, or cold
Perhaps I am brazen and fearless and bold.
Perhaps I am careless and angry and deeply