How large I see the world and feel each person’s footsteps fall
How delicate I breathe the dust that swallows up the halls
I cloak myself in refuge and the darkness of my eyes
And I never let them catch me; no, how I have learned to hide. 

I feel more colors than they can sense
I hurl my painted words at death
I catch myself falling alone

And curse the gypsy heart I stole. 


Who cares! Who minds!
Let the strange-men dream their dreams. 
Let them prowl along beside my eyes
And peer through windows and seams. 

More wanderers have saved my life
Than friends I call my best
More nurses clad in comfort than the doctors they address

I scream and scream until the rawness of my voice is heard
I filter out the darknesses and go numb to the world
My coiling-strength can only take so much tension at once
Eventually the screw will break and all my shouts will burst. 


There is something in me that wants to return 
To the bleached white walls and the chemical-room
To the soft silent plain of the starched stiff sheets
And the endless night where I wake and sleep.

The waiting breeds new agony
But the sleeping-room brings me release
I warmly breathe in the numbed-up night
Where the painless hours finally find



Each night my silk-skin shudders
And my yarn-hair starts to fall
The black matte buttons that give me sight
Grow dim and lose their light.

The nightmares climb up bookcases and
Nest in the dust on my grin
They stretch their claws in my overalls
And kiss the freckles on my chin. 

I cannot fight the shadows, so my weaknesses grow strong
Each night the dimness fills my limbs
And seeps into my soles. 

I try to whisper, “help me, please”,
But the child-folk cannot hear. 
So tears of dust fall from my eyes
And I let the shadows near. 

With dawn my shivers grow warmer
And the sun brings back my gleam
I smile painted lips at children
Who see only what they want to see.