I hate to bother you over something like this. I just needed to talk to someone.
I missed the exam. The truth is, I really don’t have any excuse to have missed the exam. I thought the deadline was midnight, not ten pm, and so as I just finished my practice quizzes and went to take it… it’s too late. I budgeted my time incorrectly. It’s my own fault.
To be honest, I don’t really expect you to re-open the exam for me. I’m not asking that. Please don’t worry about that.
My aunts were visiting from out of town this past week, and as one of them is terminally ill with stage four cancer, I made the conscious decision to spend all my effort preparing for their trip, take a week off work and spend all my time with them while they were here. I neglected school on purpose. I hate that, but I kept thinking, “What if I never see her again?” So I neglected pretty much everything! My other classes too. All the math studying ground to a halt.
I don’t regret that, exactly. Making her laugh and buying a peach-pink wig with her and shaving her head and buying candy and watching horror movies and pushing her around the square… those are memories I wouldn’t trade. I regret that I didn’t have a better plan to honor school and my family at the same time. But I made my choice.
Anyway, yeah, I missed it. I’m not asking you to re-open the exam… I’m not sure what I’m doing, honestly. I’m equal parts frustrated with myself and surprised that I didn’t make it. Usually I manage to do everything, even if it’s just barely. It’s a new sensation to fail this spectacularly. It’s probably a really good lesson for me.
Uh, again, I’m not really sure why I’m emailing you. Maybe because it’s late and I worked all day and my brain is swimming with math and I need to tell somebody that I failed and I know it… I don’t know. You already extended the exam and I still missed it. (I won’t accept another chance to do it even if you were to extend one, so don’t worry. This isn’t a pity trip. I’m not asking that.)
I just wanted to email you and… promise to do better. If I know you and my family expects better from me, I can work harder despite this setback. I won’t fall behind this next unit, and I certainly won’t mix up the due date of the next exam! I know I can do it if I apply myself step by step just like the first unit. I may end up with a less-than-desirable grade, but it’s better than failing, and I owe everybody in my life that much.
Thank you for all the resources you give us to help us. Thanks for reading this semi-pointless email. It helped me to articulate it all.
I hope you have a great week. (You don’t have to reply to this! It’s enough for me just knowing I sent it.)