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I am not a belonger in this place

I cannot imagine a berth in such space

My heart twists and yearns, the greediness turns

But nobody knows better than I-

This place was not meant for my mind-

I do not belong, I should continue to roam

I know this Feeling is not my home.

Emotions are fickle, they twist and they whine

They scratch at our faces and weep from our eyes

I know not to trust them, I know they are false

Like the hearth of this Emotion will never be a HOUSE.

I do not I do not I do not

Belong.

Jealousypridegreedlustselfishness roams

If they call this a home, I will

Leave this sand for the stone.

Liability

The tiniest sliver is far too dark; a piece of my heart

Too sharp, too sharp

I cannot believe it, the words are a lie

Who would want someone as broken and dangerous as I?

Please let go now before I trust too much

Please walk away before I need you and you run

I find it hard to even want myself

So how could someone else,

someone else?

TEPT

i know i am still held back by the trastorno,

unlikely to perceive anything

as it truly exists;

i know because simple words

leap out at me, and they threaten

with their hisses and hooks, promising

desastre with every syllable;

the drumbeats of the enfermedad within my chest

they just might

succeed

at shattering my 454564

45

 

4

eevreyhthing

I don’t know what’s going on, but

I refuse to let fear guide my way.

I am no longer giving control of my life

Over to pain.

Still, it hurts

That you couldn’t even say goodnight.

Lord, please help me

Have mercy on your child.

I feel the crushing weight of wind;

But it’s from inside, it’s from inside.

Grant peace to my fluttering soul

Still my quaking heart of bone

Rescue me from this FLESHY PRISON

I hate my thoughts and how my mind won’t

listen

Free me from this place of loss.

Send rescue to this island of thought.

I’m trapped here now, but there once was a bridge

I walked here on my own, or was I convinced?

I hate this place, the burden-sky

How heavy the weight of remaining alive

I’m tired of pouring, this pitcher is dry

I’m weary of helping, this world would not mind

If I shriveled and gave in and gave up and died…

Fill me back up

Please

I can no longer try