We sometimes want what will not help…
We seek the lights that will melt our hands
Fingers stretching to touch the gold;
Grasping flames not meant to hold…
We sometimes trust what is always wrong…
Freeing floods deeper than our souls,
Lamenting as we cannot float
Cries for mercy cut off by mill-stones
We trap ourselves then weep for home.
I can feel myself
Healing, growing, and learning
It is a blessing.
Though I am not sure
What is changing within me;
Chaos is fleeing.
For the first time in
A painfully long nightmare
I can breathe freely.
There is not any
Panic blossoming within
Just a warm, slow peace.
Such slowness is rare
In my life it has been few;
I will consume it.
Steady, soft, complete
My heartbeat returns to me
Where it always was.
It feels so strange.
For so long I have sought disconnection, relief
Thinking the land turned about me
Now new soil greets my feet, an ocean’s expanse
And still the churning – thrashing – burning
No matter how I flee I cannot escape the bleed
No matter where I run I am seen by the
How can I heal? Will this ever cease? Please let me find some