Too many nights I lie awake
The serpents spinning webs in my brain
I shuffle my thoughts like a deck of cards,
Whistling out tunes about broken hearts.
I quarrel within, the milk-man begins
Bringing my panic in glass jugs and jars.
Every night I simmer, undying quitter
I swerve to avoid any glimmer in the dark.
find the cold hollow inside. Hang on. Sink your claws in strong. Dull the pain and r u n
Let spill the sizzling hilt of sword
that dams your flooding blood with steel
the lapping blade, its greedy stains
which bring the coping rain.
My vision blurs, I sink and swirl
and every cell within.
my poison will never win
I vomit ink to cure the meat
of pages of empty sin.
Make me a steak of refusal-fate
and I’ll spit in my hand and grin.
I’ll slay whatever filthy hound
would cut my bile with gin.
I don’t know who I am when all these wordlets nip my skin
I hate this trembling weeping mess
This weakness, static-filled lioness
Please cut the icicles from my cheeks
Grate them down to bone and bleed
Help me stop being me
Flooding-oil turns my skin
Blocks the stars and light within
Every laugh is tainted shame
I CANNOT BEAR THESE BURNS AGAIN
Open doors are invitations
Haunting curses, lamentations
Seal the entrance, bar the wound
Make your heart a gravel tomb.