i see a beautiful tree, leaves
tumbling from its boughs
outstretched limbs, relief in letting go
a burden never meant to carry
she lets the breeze
borrow the load;
she lets the river
carry off her sorrow.
each crumbling memory
no longer rooted in pain
an autumn death which
brings renewal and
I did not think I could be knocked down again
But time and again now I have found
Myself near edge of being drowned
Taught this well, re-instructed and blessed
Learn-ed by life’s patient fists.
I keep my face above the waves
Just barely, by effort of prayer and strain
Like sand through an hourglass.
Someday my buoyancy won’t last.
I simply want to peruse the view
Circle ’round the vultures, catch the pieces they strew.
A syllable here, a vowel or two,
The cannibalized chunks of the wording we do.
I’m waiting for permission, but they’re circling lower
They don’t want to share
And that’s fair
But I’m starving.
I just want to feel again
Something other than waiting or suspense
Let me remember joy without tears
Give me the patience of love without fear
I’m full beyond empty with courage and loss
What sense does it make – Love,
heartbreak’s highest cost?
Now I wonder when I’ll feel like I’m breathing again
Is it wrong to identify the transitioning seasons
While you live them?
Will I someday stop coping and start
I am told these endless tales
Myths and legends, of how I prevail
Tell me where then, this strength you cite-
has gone, and why I feel so frail?
At any moment my blood will stop
It will back into my skull and pop
Dripping down each empty socket
Breaking my rib cage and pooling my pockets
Back the way it was before
The days I was dying, the dreams I abhor
The memories of childhood stitched up and fixed
A traumatic memory, I endless resist
What kind of lightness is now set into my soul
Where a store of chaos has fallen from its hole?
I crammed in every if and dream
The nightmares singing their trancelike screams…
Now, exposed, they all flood out;
A waterfall of wasted doubt.
Why die to tame the lightning and wind?
Why not instead bind the star within
I cannot control where the air-fire strikes
But my heart? It is mine.
And it shall do as I like.
Thank you for the photos
I’m already forgetting
I journal about our friendship!
If I didn’t, I’d never remember
I love looking back on memories.
It slips away so suddenly
I’m fine, just listening