Refined

Pain means

Something new;

It is beautiful, expensive; it glimmers

With all the promise of the storm.

From crushing olives, oil is born.

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insomnia

Every self-torment starts with dark

The shadows bleed the cripple’s heart

Never did sunlight worsen what first

Was brought into being by the night poet’s verse.

Do you recall the times

You called out in the night

And your voice bounced off the walls,

And all around, in spite?

 

And you weren’t careful with your words

Because you thought

the darkness

swallowed them.

 

I was there for every wish

Every lost thought and brokenness;

i stalked your breath and kept your kiss

your secrets enslaved to my shudder and fist

 

you wanted relief but you sold the release

and now

you are known by unknown entities;

LIKE ME.

Already won

Pain, impatience

Futile wishes for perfection

Make me less, make me more

I’m sorry this pain cannot be ignored

Your grace is sufficient, make this less

Potent

Please

I feel a wickedness tugging at me inside, a blinding breaking painful light

Will the shadows crawl away and die

Or will they break open and birth more night?

How can I win when I’m fighting sin?

But

You already did.

Praise

I am good for nothing else

Riddled with agony, an aching mess

Of cuts and gaping wounds, trauma and

Bruises

Just threaded together, barely, by the strings of your grace.

Nobody can know me as You do, so I burn to know you

When the tidal wave of nothingness climbs its way into my lungs

There is nobody to give me breath except for you, King

You are the only reason I still sing