I have realized, on my own
I no longer want to roam
I do not crave the breeze, because
Knowing I’m freely rooted leaves
The possibility to dance.
I no longer feel like half a whole
My heart not dreaming to be a soul
I’ve found myself and I’ve never been so
Stumbled blocks, mumbled rocks, marking the path with the walk.
Crumbling codes of fire and road, we struggle to know when we’re near.
The tracks just go on without end, my dear.
Do you recall the times
You called out in the night
And your voice bounced off the walls,
And all around, in spite?
And you weren’t careful with your words
Because you thought
I was there for every wish
Every lost thought and brokenness;
i stalked your breath and kept your kiss
your secrets enslaved to my shudder and fist
you wanted relief but you sold the release
you are known by unknown entities;
Who am I? I’ve just been drifting through the fog awhile
Breathing in the murk, the hazy
All mess upped and turn arounded
If I stop writing I’ll be drownded
Felt warmth at my back, and fell asleep
Thinking, in a moment of late, exhaustion-induced confusion, that it was you.
But sunlight, and morning
Broke the truth
It was only the cat, curled up at my back.
And you are still dead;
You are still dead.
I feel like if I push you hard enough
And I’ll be
Back where I belong
For a slow-time, there is peace
and it is not fragile, it is not weak
it will roar like the lion, like the guarding beast
I WILL NOT GIVE IN TO THIS ANGER IN ME