Purposes

If my suffering brings peace, if my

Darkness can be a flame

Let the iron rains fall and close their chains on me

I will not dull the pain if it means showing someone the way

Let the aching stay.

Judah

There is yet love in your heart; do not let it fade, let it fall

There is yet survival and patches of light

A place for the healing to start; in part

A consequence of what has been lost.

Do not fade, gentle one, in the waves of this passing

Do not shiver yourself out of your bones.

The crossing will pass and the passing will cross

itself into patterns – as of yet unknown.

This place is a journey, your steps are not hollow

The world is still firm ‘neath your feet.

You do not walk solemn… awaken and follow

The Lion who beckons you –

To be free.

water-walking

I wander through unknowns, shivering valleys and deeper lows

My dreams reflect the darkness new- but somehow light is shimmering too

I find myself awash in breath, a consolation in the land of death…

What waits beyond I do not know. A lonely hall dipping dark and low. I will not find what I expect-

But the Lion of Judah, prowling ahead.

Love conquers a multitude of sins

Once there was a boy. He was alright. He thought he knew what he wanted in life, but for some reason, everything just left him empty. Over time, things got worse. He was hurt many times by many people, even his own family.

The boy became very broken.

There was also a girl. She was alright. Death came for her a few times, but she lived. She thrived, and God placed his blessing on her. She was favored. But favor doesn’t mean everything is easy. The girl suffered a lot. She faced many trials. God never left her. And he allowed the suffering to leave its mark- as its mark was the shadow left behind by all the times she had been delivered. No suffering, no miracle.

So she was very broken too.

The boy and the girl met. They fell in love. Against many odds they built something, and it was mostly good. They treated each other well. They sacrificed for each other. They wanted to see the best and the most beautiful of each other.

The girl sought to help heal the boy, and the boy sought to help heal the girl.

But darkness from the past wasn’t done with the girl or the boy. It showed up many times, in many ways. It was a complicated and painful relationship from the beginning. They faced many trials. And they grew through many trials. And many trials were faced together that would have been near impossible alone.

And however much, their faith grew.

Time passed and the growing slowed. It even began to crumble. It was no longer a place of healing. The girl and the boy were not quite strong enough to give their best to each other. Pain and distrust and panic were destroying the goodness they’d built.

So, tears flooding freely, all other escapes exhausted, they said goodbye…

And God said this was crucial for the boy’s faith. The girl, still in agony, tried to be comforted by this. He told the girl not to fear the giants in life.

He told the girl to remember his promise- that he always finishes what he starts.

So the girl is praying and waiting and hoping. She knows it will get better, and the crippling-pain will cease, and the agonizing emptiness clawing a nest inside her will be chased away one day. She is stubbornly and insistently praising the Creator, remembering his promise:

I will finish what I started in you.

The girl knows that God isn’t done with the boy, either.

The giants will fall.

Low tide

I can feel myself
Healing, growing, and learning
It is a blessing.

Though I am not sure
What is changing within me;
Chaos is fleeing.

For the first time in
A painfully long nightmare
I can breathe freely.

There is not any
Panic blossoming within
Just a warm, slow peace.

Such slowness is rare
In my life it has been few;
I will consume it.

Steady, soft, complete
My heartbeat returns to me
Where it always was.

Rebuke

For a moment, my veins were on fire

Alight with Your power and might.

I had been swept by the threat of the Enemy’s wings;

His beauty, his torment, his plight

You will die, he whispered to me

Very soon, and painfully.

I know not what he expected, nor

What singing fear was rebuked.

But the threats did not sting

For my heritage brings

Courage; the heartiest thing.

I SNARLED “so be it then,

I’ll die as I lived,

Shouting praise to the King!”

For He does not bow to your suffering.