i still pause every now and again, shocked
that anything should give me hesitation.
it still doesn’t quite make sense that
your unhappiness, even in the midst of my anger AT YOU,
should move me with such alarming strength.
never before have i been
unable to withhold reconciliation;
it was always a move of pity, never
one of love,
not like now, where my heart crumples if i cannot end the stony silence
and hold you.
Struggled through another dawn, another break of blood and brawn
Cracked my own bones, split my own veins
Broke up my courage just to remain
And then I gave
until i could breathe under concrete and grain
but panic fades when hearts don’t break
and solitude is no longer a curse
wander and grow, wonder and know
i’m building the spirit inside
my king and my light, my guide will decide
just what paths i will take through this life.
It is beautiful, expensive; it glimmers
With all the promise of the storm.
From crushing olives, oil is born.
the ache is making me
the gap is filling with water;
each day i realize i love her,
the girl learning how to swim.
I am good for nothing else
Riddled with agony, an aching mess
Of cuts and gaping wounds, trauma and
Just threaded together, barely, by the strings of your grace.
Nobody can know me as You do, so I burn to know you
When the tidal wave of nothingness climbs its way into my lungs
There is nobody to give me breath except for you, King
You are the only reason I still sing