“You can’t miss anyone while you’re sleeping.”
I closed my eyes. That isn’t true.
I’ve spent hundreds of years searching for you.
Missing you in valleys, in dungeons, in endless time
Every single night in the dark mazes of my mind.
I can lay me down to sleep, aye, and even dream
But missing you is a longing that pervades even sleep.
no more LOST ONES,
no more BROKENNESS.
i am not walking the hospice halls of my heart any longer
I DESERVE A MAN WHOSE LIFE IS CHRIST
and i saw you… with joy in your eyes…
i dearly desire that light.
Nice to meet you. I think we’re meant to
take you out to eat?
the purest energy, the jitters of possibility
I hear that song and shake my head, the
glitter catching in my eyes
each sunrise taunting me with its time, I
have already decided so many things, after one glimpse
hope is dangerous, love even deadlier
caution to illness and sorrow and loneliness –
you are all on death row, I’ve realized my hope –
and it feels so sudden, but
i want to fall in love
When I overheard you talking, you
sounded like a stranger.
I wasn’t sure
who was speaking.
what a relief
to be free
I still love you I still love you I am desperate to let you know
But I cannot if I want what
God has told me is the way to go
I still love you and that means
tears spring to my eyes, a widowed surprise
have i misheard this whisper-flow?
my heart has freed, a bittersweet memory
and yet untainted by the past.
i did not know this aloha could last
What kind of lightness is now set into my soul
Where a store of chaos has fallen from its hole?
I crammed in every if and dream
The nightmares singing their trancelike screams…
Now, exposed, they all flood out;
A waterfall of wasted doubt.
Why die to tame the lightning and wind?
Why not instead bind the star within
I cannot control where the air-fire strikes
But my heart? It is mine.
And it shall do as I like.
it sings in tones of spider-thread
it wanders up and down the Pain…
The song is caught in a timeless place,
where the hurting worsened ’til it grew a face;
and the face is blank and its eyes are dead;
& wilted blossoms frame the head;
beautiful, but also gone.
just like us.
i wrote us a song.
I miss your love, your kindness
I miss the way you cared for me
The softness with which you treated me
It hurts like knives in my stomach to let go
I have to trust that God is just
That he wants for me what I cannot
I know He is jealous for me…
And will hold me as I weep
There is yet love in your heart; do not let it fade, let it fall
There is yet survival and patches of light
A place for the healing to start; in part
A consequence of what has been lost.
Do not fade, gentle one, in the waves of this passing
Do not shiver yourself out of your bones.
The crossing will pass and the passing will cross
itself into patterns – as of yet unknown.
This place is a journey, your steps are not hollow
The world is still firm ‘neath your feet.
You do not walk solemn… awaken and follow
The Lion who beckons you –
To be free.