snapshot

i am grateful in this moment, in this instant, for this time

am happy the stars are back and lighting up my mind

today i love him, today i’m fine

i refuse to wait for the day to end.

 

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Gone

Do you ever think about me?

Do you wonder how I am?

Since you left, since you left

Do you fight off what reminds you of me

Cast it out and then

Pretend we never met?

I know I touched your heart, I know

I hit some vein

If you ever come this way

Will you let the light back in?

I don’t know all your darkness, I

Don’t know all your pain

I’m sure whatever trauma stalks you

Ripped you from this place

But if the stars speak softly to you

Of love and easy grace,

Remember all the words I sent you

Remember then my face.

Agape

Let us love not with vigor, or emotion, or with zest

Let us love not with impassioned words and hearts pounding in our chest

Let us love instead with sorrow and the heartbreakings of heaven,

Each added soul a brimming whole

Of halves and broken edges.

Let us love with all our purpose and our glances and our restings

Let us love with every one in world envisioned like the best

Let us love like nothing ever happened and nothing ever will;

Let us love as wide and far as the east is from the west.

Like God in Earth heals our hurts,

Let us love

Away

The

World.

Quedar

Who doesn’t, won’t, and wants to be

Could I, would we, sweet disease

Want a new dollar, a shiny time-piece?

Me and my people can never be free.

As I sit still and the dripping-day starts

I cannot see past the daylight’s bright heart.

Am I a fool, or just on my own?

?Will you come to free me or leave me in stone?

one line from each love poem i wrote (july 2017-january 2019)

i scream and claw at Heart

EACH NIGHTDARK WHISPERS HATING-THINGS

I want to take back what I didn’t say

The gnawing grows wider and I cannot quench the fire

I love but I cannot give in

let me hold your pain and fire, let me feel the lightning in your eyes

i cannot let this… exist

You pulled me up to dance

He filled my veins with shadow

Love cannot hurt me more than silence

The relief I feel

“You either feel it or you don’t.”

But the lyrics flew and caught my heart

You spoke in whispers and sunlight

When brown meets green. The trees

i seek absolution from the starrer of the skies

my starving heart desires.

I can feel the sunrays healing

Love is the warrior facing this fear.

What is this uncertainty

But the highs are so windy, so brightly sharp over the city

But I will lift my voice above the roar

Felt this familiar, comforting

Don’t let him know his eyes invade your waking nights and dreaming days

Someday I will kiss you again

And let the warmth of joy remain.

I am good

I discover, endless summer

She left and part of me went to sleep

I held fast to the loneliness grinding my bones.

But my heartbeat trails behind.

I lost everyone I need.

Too late

Impossible to deny.

We climb the clouds like ladders as we sing our praising songs

I call for a name that no longer exists.

I will simply call it a night

Elohim Shama, I want to listen as well as I’m heard.

When will this grief stop its roaming, and settle

How can I fight? I am weary

Verde, verde, me duele el corazón

I will not give in to the shadows or the bleeding.

I know who you were, and who you made me, and how you kept the loneliness at bay for so many

You are gone, and no life will replace you.

I feel small, I feel nothing

And you are still dead;

I do not want to live in a bubble of pain

You are the only reason I still sing

My king and my light, my guide will decide

and solitude is no longer a curse

But you are gone. Each new breath, empty morning

I no longer want to roam

I wish I knew how to leave the ledge but I know I cannot fly

For a while, in the dark, you’ll have never died.

I close my eyes and see demise

“it’s complicated.”

I know I am in love

My dear, I’m wholly in love with your rhetoric.

 

an evergreen love

pine-shells and mud clumps, rivers and vines

I like you now and love you all of the time

silvering skies, blossoming eyes

the rivers that run through my heart seek a prize

i speak to the mountains, they chuckle and sigh

the treetops wave down at the seas with delight

feathers and roots, charred logs and sticks

my dear, i’m wholly in love with your rhetoric.