To dust

This Christmas time, my mind

Is racing with thoughts of death.

The woman in the road

The loyal dog that crumbled to ash in my hands

The grandfather I did not get to bid farewell…

The fathers that faded away before their time,

Hurting the loved ones in my life

I close my eyes and see demise

The permanence of death that floods my head

How do I stop this whirlwind and

Succumb to peace instead?

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Return

I felt again, your presence came
Your warmth renewed, no longer ash
In my arms, not seizing, not shrieking
Soft and living… safe once more

But you are gone. Each new breath, empty morning
You are torn from me fresh, the
Wound never closing.

Will I ever get used to your absence?
WILL I EVER STOP WISHING YOU WEREN’T GONE?

I almost pray you’d stop coming to me
Allow the blood to congeal
But if the only way you can be
Means me weeping over you in my sleep

Then bring me the dreams.