I am told these endless tales
Myths and legends, of how I prevail
Tell me where then, this strength you cite-
has gone, and why I feel so frail?
At any moment my blood will stop
It will back into my skull and pop
Dripping down each empty socket
Breaking my rib cage and pooling my pockets
Back the way it was before
The days I was dying, the dreams I abhor
The memories of childhood stitched up and fixed
A traumatic memory, I endless resist
If the only constant is change
Then why am I ceaselessly in pain?
The tiniest sliver is far too dark; a piece of my heart
Too sharp, too sharp
I cannot believe it, the words are a lie
Who would want someone as broken and dangerous as I?
Please let go now before I trust too much
Please walk away before I need you and you run
I find it hard to even want myself
So how could someone else,
What, he said, how can that be?
You truly never have a moment of peace?
I shrugged my shoulders, untouched by his unease,
“I’ve never known different. It’s all the same to me.”
Has my trauma changed its form?
A deadly illness, starving-worm
Am I cursed to walk the earth, a
New impossible every morn?
Why can’t I leave the shadows behind? They change
And follow me
I hate their voices, despise their smiles
But I can’t stop letting them crawl
What can I do
To finally be free?
Someone tell them I’m
The uncertainty’s weight is more than I can stand
There is more against the fire than the darkness at hand.
Who doesn’t, won’t, and wants to be
Could I, would we, sweet disease
Want a new dollar, a shiny time-piece?
Me and my people can never be free.
As I sit still and the dripping-day starts
I cannot see past the daylight’s bright heart.
Am I a fool, or just on my own?
?Will you come to free me or leave me in stone?