I simply want to peruse the view
Circle ’round the vultures, catch the pieces they strew.
A syllable here, a vowel or two,
The cannibalized chunks of the wording we do.
I’m waiting for permission, but they’re circling lower
They don’t want to share
And that’s fair
But I’m starving.
If the only constant is change
Then why am I ceaselessly in pain?
I am not a belonger in this place
I cannot imagine a berth in such space
My heart twists and yearns, the greediness turns
But nobody knows better than I-
This place was not meant for my mind-
I do not belong, I should continue to roam
I know this Feeling is not my home.
Emotions are fickle, they twist and they whine
They scratch at our faces and weep from our eyes
I know not to trust them, I know they are false
Like the hearth of this Emotion will never be a HOUSE.
I do not I do not I do not
If they call this a home, I will
Leave this sand for the stone.
it still hits me like deep chills,
wind that flows in my bones, without any right to frost my skin
yet it does, it does
the tantalizing taste of life, the lightning-bolt-belief of light
i feel as though no one has lived before me,
how could any exist in this same place
without crumbling into dust?
I swear my intensity is unmatched
i promise the iron that crystallizes in my blood is unmet by predecessors
who are you to challenge me? i can’t even breathe
this place is foreign and i will blink until the sun sets on
all these wasted words.
We are all strong in our memories, coiled up within us
Dreams of daylight, power bleeding from the scratches in our vanity.
We are all certain of our humanity, cutting corners at the table
Wreathed in flame and laurel
Dismissing every weakling that would grovel for a meeting
Drunk on power until
We are stumbling in the dark, screaming for the light
Tripping from the pursuer, frightened by the sight of truth
We are powerful until the dark strips us of everything and we weep, broken, in the shadows; children
Somewhere in a trance there is this waterfall of sound,
Enticing every color from the Ribcage to the ground.
I seek a new divinity, untethered by my chains,
A drowning watercolor of my home I sought to save.
We cannot quell the flow of thorns, the
Riverbeast of thunder scorned.
Please kill this cavern-ache inside,
And kill the sonder-life
I lose my breath for the ways we wept
Carving our chains from the sorrows we claim
I curse my hands as they build my plans
The coffin sized for me that I lovingly heed
Each step towards my death I shriek as I grin
I cannot stop mourning even as I descend
Why do we not cease all this clamor and doubt?
I know what will save me but I grieve anyhow
We built our own tomb-traps but we gild them and stay!
filling the rooms with silver decay
Floating our corpses in gold-blood and gloom
We’re certain this death will not be the last
We’ve died so many times in the past