I don’t remember you, I don’t recognize you

Though others would think we are close.

You were but a slurred thought,

When exhausted, distraught,

I created you out of the dark.

Please go back to the slip-ink, the coils of memory

Have no cause to be kind to you.

I wish not your permanence, I would erase your presence

If indeed such creation could be undone.

Instead I will shrug when introduced

And pretend that I never knew you.

the danger of surviving

When I heard the shout, the crash, the loud

My veins burst with fire and panic.

I leapt to my feet straight over the seat

Of the recliner, without bothering to close it.

I was already cycling through emergency mode,

Preparing my eyes for the blood they would see.

I was ready to reassure, to assist, to prevent

death

Fueled with panic-flames lapping up from my feet

Then he spoke after the cry, said, it’s okay,

I’m fine,

it was the dog that knocked something down.

I crumbled back down, my chest a vacuum

Where breath was remiss to return.

I hate that my life has been trauma so many times

But if it meant saving their lives, or protecting them in crisis

I would shoulder a thousand more panic-fires.

Though someday, I hear, they build up and the fear

Is nothing compared to the smoke.

If you’re not careful, the burning will fill up your person,

And the world will all feel the same,

And despite the extinguishers, despite the protectors,

you’ll never smell anything but flames.

Welcome home, soul

Where have I been, these years, these years

Where have I been these nights?

In what kind of hovel have I been hiding

Afraid of what courage, which light?

I’m tired and empty of what the world has

Over the conquests of fools and men

Every heart in this world, it seems

Is gaunt, irrelevant, and has been

Filled up by the sloppiest, patched up with paltry

Seasoned with promises reeling with poetry,

Stricken with senselessness, sickened with hurry

These hearts do not wait upon or at all.

I am weary of restless, nauseous of breathless

Seeking the foundation you bring.

I left for a time- and forgive me, I lied-

To my own starving heart of my means.

But I’ve reconciled here, and I’ve realized now

My future is elsewhere, it waits in the power

Of the Lion of Glory and Might.

My silence is sacred, but my praise is outrageous

And I will scream to the Heavens

That the shadows must now

contend with the Light.

Carrionspeech

I simply want to peruse the view

Circle ’round the vultures, catch the pieces they strew.

A syllable here, a vowel or two,

The cannibalized chunks of the wording we do.

I’m waiting for permission, but they’re circling lower

They don’t want to share

And that’s fair

But I’m starving.

Home

I am not a belonger in this place

I cannot imagine a berth in such space

My heart twists and yearns, the greediness turns

But nobody knows better than I-

This place was not meant for my mind-

I do not belong, I should continue to roam

I know this Feeling is not my home.

Emotions are fickle, they twist and they whine

They scratch at our faces and weep from our eyes

I know not to trust them, I know they are false

Like the hearth of this Emotion will never be a HOUSE.

I do not I do not I do not

Belong.

Jealousypridegreedlustselfishness roams

If they call this a home, I will

Leave this sand for the stone.

orphan

it still hits me like deep chills,

wind that flows in my bones, without any right to frost my skin

yet it does, it does

the tantalizing taste of life, the lightning-bolt-belief of light

i feel as though no one has lived before me,

how could any exist in this same place

without crumbling into dust?

I swear my intensity is unmatched

i promise the iron that crystallizes in my blood is unmet by predecessors

who are you to challenge me? i can’t even breathe

your air

this place is foreign and i will blink until the sun sets on

all these wasted words.

Leveled

We are all strong in our memories, coiled up within us

Dreams of daylight, power bleeding from the scratches in our vanity.

We are all certain of our humanity, cutting corners at the table

Wreathed in flame and laurel

Dismissing every weakling that would grovel for a meeting

Drunk on power until

We are stumbling in the dark, screaming for the light

Tripping from the pursuer, frightened by the sight of truth

We are powerful until the dark strips us of everything and we weep, broken, in the shadows; children

in

the night.

Wander

Somewhere in a trance there is this waterfall of sound,

Enticing every color from the Ribcage to the ground.

I seek a new divinity, untethered by my chains,

A drowning watercolor of my home I sought to save.

We cannot quell the flow of thorns, the

Riverbeast of thunder scorned.

Please kill this cavern-ache inside,

And kill the sonder-life

I hide.