Young?

What, he said, how can that be?

You truly never have a moment of peace?

I shrugged my shoulders, untouched by his unease,

“I’ve never known different. It’s all the same to me.”

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TEPT

i know i am still held back by the trastorno,

unlikely to perceive anything

as it truly exists;

i know because simple words

leap out at me, and they threaten

with their hisses and hooks, promising

desastre with every syllable;

the drumbeats of the enfermedad within my chest

they just might

succeed

at shattering my 454564

45

 

4

eevreyhthing

Lord, please help me

Have mercy on your child.

I feel the crushing weight of wind;

But it’s from inside, it’s from inside.

Grant peace to my fluttering soul

Still my quaking heart of bone

Rescue me from this FLESHY PRISON

I hate my thoughts and how my mind won’t

listen

Free me from this place of loss.

Send rescue to this island of thought.

I’m trapped here now, but there once was a bridge

I walked here on my own, or was I convinced?

I hate this place, the burden-sky

How heavy the weight of remaining alive

I’m tired of pouring, this pitcher is dry

I’m weary of helping, this world would not mind

If I shriveled and gave in and gave up and died…

Fill me back up

Please

I can no longer try

orphan

it still hits me like deep chills,

wind that flows in my bones, without any right to frost my skin

yet it does, it does

the tantalizing taste of life, the lightning-bolt-belief of light

i feel as though no one has lived before me,

how could any exist in this same place

without crumbling into dust?

I swear my intensity is unmatched

i promise the iron that crystallizes in my blood is unmet by predecessors

who are you to challenge me? i can’t even breathe

your air

this place is foreign and i will blink until the sun sets on

all these wasted words.