Category Archives: Personal

what is Depressed?

it is a crushing weight that pulverizes your breath

grinds your lungs to dust and leaves blood begging for help in your eyes

it is an exhaustion, an apathy, a slow-burning acid pulsating in your heart

it is an apology, “i’m sorry, i should be fine”

it is a distant echo of guilt

remorse for the lives you cannot help but impact

buried by nothingness,

the ghost of feeling consumed by self-hatred and

absolute

emptiness

Down

How large I see the world and feel each person’s footsteps fall
How delicate I breathe the dust that swallows up the halls
I cloak myself in refuge and the darkness of my eyes
And I never let them catch me; no, how I have learned to hide. 

I feel more colors than they can sense
I hurl my painted words at death
I catch myself falling alone

And curse the gypsy heart I stole. 

Anyway

Who spits molten lead as I?

Whose shivers leave stone teeth and staring eyes

Who bites the blood into prose and parade

Who paints the bruise into shades that don’t fade

Who lets the lightning in to translate the thunder

Who breathes in the glass dust to exhale the wonder

Who faces the fire to transcribe the burns

Who worries the lion to feel its great fur

Who walks under currents to see the sea play

Who jumps in the lava to rescue the clay

Who pines to feel pain just to write in this way?

Thank God, Myself gets to come along

Or the poet in my brain wouldn’t stay. 

I am sorry

For that time I crushed you down

When you were just trying to help;

I was too concerned with me and Flattery:

My will became my pride, and

I looked down at you, a moment that seizes my heart with pain

To this day. 

You wanted nothing more than to make me proud and help me out

And I shut you down. 

I am gross and a coward. And my pain is pronounced

Forgive me.