We bowed our heads
i raised mine, instead
the reverance stayed. but my gaze strayed
onto your face
— you cheekily waved.
i smiled in dismay
and my heart sank.
These thoughts are not mine. If they intrude
One more time
I will cut them up and cast them down
Into the furthest depths of the sea;
Far, far away
Melting-me drips down my ribs
Myself withers and cracks my lips
my soul-glass chips and fogs
I stare down friends and family
as my Self slides down my bones
my heartbeat liquefies and loans
itself down to my
t o e s
Who spits molten lead as I?
Whose shivers leave stone teeth and staring eyes
Who bites the blood into prose and parade
Who paints the bruise into shades that don’t fade
Who lets the lightning in to translate the thunder
Who breathes in the glass dust to exhale the wonder
Who faces the fire to transcribe the burns
Who worries the lion to feel its great fur
Who walks under currents to see the sea play
Who jumps in the lava to rescue the clay
Who pines to feel pain just to write in this way?
Thank God, Myself gets to come along
Or the poet in my brain wouldn’t stay.
For that time I crushed you down
When you were just trying to help;
I was too concerned with me and Flattery:
My will became my pride, and
I looked down at you, a moment that seizes my heart with pain
To this day.
You wanted nothing more than to make me proud and help me out
And I shut you down.
I am gross and a coward. And my pain is pronounced
What fickle foul delineates my mind
What hissing sentiment I find
Caught up in pools of sticky-me
That clot my breath and misery
i seek to find more than myself
i want not comfort, fame or wealth
but to BOW before the One who KNOWS
THE ONE WHO CLAIMS THE HIGHEST THRONE
Yes, there is Dark;
And Suffering and Hurt.
There is Rage and Murder and Betrayal and Dirt
There are people whose souls have given in to their Flesh
There are shadow-puppets praying to their Self-gods of Death
But for every Darkness and Foulness that lives
THERE IS A BURNING AND BLINDING AND BURSTING WITHIN
OF LIGHT THAT THROWS BACK ALL THE SHADOWS AND SIN
AND THAT LIGHT IS THE FLAME THAT WILL ULTIMATELY WIN
AND END OR BEGIN
what we’ve lost —
Somewhere I am weeping, teeth glinting in wailing screams upon the floor
Somewhere my eyes are blinding rage with the justice they restore
Somewhere my jaw is tight and cold and my gaze sweeps frozen by
Somewhere I soften and forgive as someone before me cries
Somewhere I grieve
Somewhere I lose
Somewhere I hesitate and choose
Somewhere I laugh with golden tones that dance in silver song
Somewhere I live, I belong,
Each version of me alive in someone’s mind all along.
Why are words so cruel and quick
Why do they prowl and lick their lips
WHY CANT WE LEASH THEM, kEEP THEM IN
THEIR HANDLES CUT OUR WEAKENED SKIN
we bleed and find ourselves again…
Perhaps my Name will change again
And pity will flood their eyes.
Maybe my gaze will scream, “I’m fine!”
While they shake their heads
Who will I become? What new
Label will crawl into my blood
What stamp will march across my face
And leave its inky, staining trace
What wrong allele now needs to be healed?
I burrow into sleep until the great reveal.