Love conquers a multitude of sins

Once there was a boy. He was alright. He thought he knew what he wanted in life, but for some reason, everything just left him empty. Over time, things got worse. He was hurt many times by many people, even his own family.

The boy became very broken.

There was also a girl. She was alright. Death came for her a few times, but she lived. She thrived, and God placed his blessing on her. She was favored. But favor doesn’t mean everything is easy. The girl suffered a lot. She faced many trials. God never left her. And he allowed the suffering to leave its mark- as its mark was the shadow left behind by all the times she had been delivered. No suffering, no miracle.

So she was very broken too.

The boy and the girl met. They fell in love. Against many odds they built something, and it was mostly good. They treated each other well. They sacrificed for each other. They wanted to see the best and the most beautiful of each other.

The girl sought to help heal the boy, and the boy sought to help heal the girl.

But darkness from the past wasn’t done with the girl or the boy. It showed up many times, in many ways. It was a complicated and painful relationship from the beginning. They faced many trials. And they grew through many trials. And many trials were faced together that would have been near impossible alone.

And however much, their faith grew.

Time passed and the growing slowed. It even began to crumble. It was no longer a place of healing. The girl and the boy were not quite strong enough to give their best to each other. Pain and distrust and panic were destroying the goodness they’d built.

So, tears flooding freely, all other escapes exhausted, they said goodbye…

And God said this was crucial for the boy’s faith. The girl, still in agony, tried to be comforted by this. He told the girl not to fear the giants in life.

He told the girl to remember his promise- that he always finishes what he starts.

So the girl is praying and waiting and hoping. She knows it will get better, and the crippling-pain will cease, and the agonizing emptiness clawing a nest inside her will be chased away one day. She is stubbornly and insistently praising the Creator, remembering his promise:

I will finish what I started in you.

The girl knows that God isn’t done with the boy, either.

The giants will fall.

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Young?

What, he said, how can that be?

You truly never have a moment of peace?

I shrugged my shoulders, untouched by his unease,

“I’ve never known different. It’s all the same to me.”

Nightshivers

Tears through sleep, shivers that weep

I open my eyes, dissipating demise

The death was not real, the cold I could feel

All conjured up by my dreams.

I held his body, frozen solid

Claw marks on the door

The agonized scream, I knew she would weep

Senseless murder that I could not stop.

I tried to save you, I’m sorry, I failed

Your blood will be on my face, my sleeves

Like my ears are full of your mother’s wailing

And my eyes bled salt for your sake.

Do you recall the times

You called out in the night

And your voice bounced off the walls,

And all around, in spite?

 

And you weren’t careful with your words

Because you thought

the darkness

swallowed them.

 

I was there for every wish

Every lost thought and brokenness;

i stalked your breath and kept your kiss

your secrets enslaved to my shudder and fist

 

you wanted relief but you sold the release

and now

you are known by unknown entities;

LIKE ME.

quiet

Usually, there is cold.

Ice and deftness, dexterity and chill.

But when the slow-deep comes, the fire

Lights in her hands. The warmth spreads

Through her veins

And cradles her heart. It squeezes

Like a vest, like a binding

The current carries her away.

She flickers out for a time

And the warmth

Stays; the tongues of flame

Lighting their own way.

Doll

Each night my silk-skin shudders
And my yarn-hair starts to fall
The black matte buttons that give me sight
Grow dim and lose their light.

The nightmares climb up bookcases and
Nest in the dust on my grin
They stretch their claws in my overalls
And kiss the freckles on my chin. 

I cannot fight the shadows, so my weaknesses grow strong
Each night the dimness fills my limbs
And seeps into my soles. 

I try to whisper, “help me, please”,
But the child-folk cannot hear. 
So tears of dust fall from my eyes
And I let the shadows near. 

With dawn my shivers grow warmer
And the sun brings back my gleam
I smile painted lips at children
Who see only what they want to see. 

Without

“Why?” She cried. “Why can’t I withdraw, and be alone but not lonely and be simple and wise and not needy and not needing to be fulfilled?

Why can’t I wander off and not return and have them ache and feel my absence without my missing them? Why can’t I retreat and hide and sleep in silence of thought? Alone?”

Because, the wind droned. Because you are Person. And Person cannot be without People. 

And she cried some more.