I meet them at the strangest times
in corridors, waiting in lines
I call them kin by the starlight streaming from their eyes.
Your voice was breaking, my hands were shaking
I held your gaze in a determination…
knowing the pain in your lungs.
I have grieved as we both have loved;
now your loss will stalk your days…
I’m sorry she left you this way.
Can I banish the cold-thoughts from my head?
Can I cut the disdain from my veins?
Will I ever stop viewing reality distorted
Or am I doomed to remain unsafe?
At most, my pain diminishes me
I feel small, I feel nothing
I feel the nothing pulling me in
I know its name, its harmonies well up
They pour out of my eyes and stain my life
At best, the pain underscores the why
Without agony there is no joy.
WILL NOTHING EVER BE RIGHT?
HOW COULD YOU LET THEM DIE
the lesson I thought I’d learned has returned
To mock my weeping faith.
The panic grows and swallows whole
the love lounging inside;
my soul instead desires death
to calm my raging mind.
the sickness creeps through every bone
splinters and stones, no antidotes
the despair seeps into each of my homes
through hearts and hands i did not know i hold.
Bleeding and broken and lashed with hatred, shame
Laughed at and mocked in the darkest of hours
As even father looked away.
Scorned and forgotten, abandoned by all
More alone than anyone has ever been.
Yet we cry out after a moment of darkness, a second of fear
We cannot stand to face the shadows on our own
you, You died in solitude to grant us a reprieve from the night
i cannot fathom how blessed i am to know this age, where you are so close and graceful
so kind and gentle
i know one day you will judge us all and i am NOT ENOUGH
I SCREAM THIS TRUTH, THE AGONY TORN FROM MY LUNGS WITH ALL ITS THORNS
YOU ARE A L L THAT I HAVE
AND YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH
thank you …
Should I secure my soul away
Or let it free to drift aloft?
Be happy, kind with every day;
Or change it all in risk and loss?
Decide within me, yearning heart
Beat a message bright and dark.
Fill the cracks within my chest
With aching words and hollow rest.