The tiniest sliver is far too dark; a piece of my heart
Too sharp, too sharp
I cannot believe it, the words are a lie
Who would want someone as broken and dangerous as I?
Please let go now before I trust too much
Please walk away before I need you and you run
I find it hard to even want myself
So how could someone else,
What, he said, how can that be?
You truly never have a moment of peace?
I shrugged my shoulders, untouched by his unease,
“I’ve never known different. It’s all the same to me.”
Lord, please help me
Have mercy on your child.
I feel the crushing weight of wind;
But it’s from inside, it’s from inside.
Grant peace to my fluttering soul
Still my quaking heart of bone
Rescue me from this FLESHY PRISON
I hate my thoughts and how my mind won’t
Free me from this place of loss.
Send rescue to this island of thought.
I’m trapped here now, but there once was a bridge
I walked here on my own, or was I convinced?
I hate this place, the burden-sky
How heavy the weight of remaining alive
I’m tired of pouring, this pitcher is dry
I’m weary of helping, this world would not mind
If I shriveled and gave in and gave up and died…
Fill me back up
I can no longer try
A laugh, a smile, a burst of light
Quickly killed by the sand inside
I parade alive, but the stars have died;
I’m sorry, which me was i supposed to
I no longer crave the Roma-life
I want an end to my internal strife
I don’t want new colors, or feelings, or fear
I want something solid and safe, and real
I’m tired of thrills, of feeling these highs
The lows with which they are tangled are not worth the skies
I’m sick of the endless shrieking in my mind
I don’t want to be homeless, I want someone to
stop letting me wander. Give me a home. I’m tired of sorrow, the tragic-alone
Please someone convince me I’m sane
The world grows in volume
if I …….. this path I’ll be …. anyway
Has my trauma changed its form?
A deadly illness, starving-worm
Am I cursed to walk the earth, a
New impossible every morn?
Why can’t I leave the shadows behind? They change
And follow me
I hate their voices, despise their smiles
But I can’t stop letting them crawl
What can I do
To finally be free?
Someone tell them I’m
Let us love not with vigor, or emotion, or with zest
Let us love not with impassioned words and hearts pounding in our chest
Let us love instead with sorrow and the heartbreakings of heaven,
Each added soul a brimming whole
Of halves and broken edges.
Let us love with all our purpose and our glances and our restings
Let us love with every one in world envisioned like the best
Let us love like nothing ever happened and nothing ever will;
Let us love as wide and far as the east is from the west.
Like God in Earth heals our hurts,
Let us love