If I could

Run myself into oblivion

I would

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Elohim Shama,

You know me like no other.

Your love searches my heart

And guides it through the rubble.

I whimper weakly, wrought of nothing.

The dark delights in my lack of words.

I cannot even think before you.

Your might is astounding, Your mercy undeserved…

I think I’ve thought a single praise but nothing grazes Your worth

Elohim Shama, I want to listen as well as I’m heard.

Keep

The daylight is here and my fear

Should be gone

The darkness, like mist

Evaporates from the lawn

My star-gazing, sugar-cubes

Flung in the sky

The current of pain where the Milky Way lies

I should be whole and peaceful and still

Instead I choose tumult

and mudslicks, and the pills I abhor;

My hands gleefully wretched with dark oil-spills.

Let my heart still and stir the river no more.