I am sorry

For that time I crushed you down

When you were just trying to help;

I was too concerned with me and Flattery:

My will became my pride, and

I looked down at you, a moment that seizes my heart with pain

To this day. 

You wanted nothing more than to make me proud and help me out

And I shut you down. 

I am gross and a coward. And my pain is pronounced

Forgive me. 

Refinement

Who understands but Yaweh
Who feels the depths of the agony?

I am broken and alone
Each human failed me, one by one
No one can stand the test of time
Of sleeplessness through these trials of mine

I callously discard them. I painfully disregard their
Deception, malice, unjust intent
Their abuse and neglect and abandonment

I ford the waters alone.
A single rough rock among river stones. 

Leeches

It’s a good thing

My life is not lived seeking your approval. 

Because your sideways sleights

Your quiet niggling comments that creep into my mind

They would make me miserable

If I let them. 

No more. 

You are not a friend. 

You are a leech. I am done allowing you to feed

On my blood. It belongs to me

And while I would happily donate a pint to someone in need

I refuse to let a monster use it

To grow stronger. 

Consider this ‘friendship’

Terminated. 

I          Am.              Free.