Tree nomad

I have realized, on my own

I no longer want to roam

I do not crave the breeze, because

Knowing I’m freely rooted leaves

The possibility to dance.

I no longer feel like half a whole

My heart not dreaming to be a soul

I’ve found myself and I’ve never been so

full

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without saying a word

I watch the stupid checkered shirts that look so good on you disappear down the way

Dark hair lost in the crowd

Part of my heart goes to sleep when you leave; a pint of my blood that will never bleed. 

And I want to remember

With every fiber of my stupid useless heart

That day you were around,

I was near;

You marched straight through the crowd 

and wrapped your arms around me

No words

No greeting

Just arms and contact and an exclamation from me,

Asking if you were alright

Because you never hug anyone. 

And I cherish that night —

when you opened up your heart to me

Without ever saying anything at all. 

Terribly silent ‘I love you’

I can never, ever tell you

That your dark eyes make me smile;

Or that

I ache when I see you

For want of some way to 

Be near  ;

That I want to take care of you

And hold you but keep my distance,

And love you and teach you to love,

All at once,

Always,

All at once. 

I cannot help but feel that tugging aching breaking inside,

Like a fatal, blinding light

Has somehow found a way to shine

Inside my bones. 

Watching you walk away

Always out of reach

I want to make things easier for you

Shoulder those burdens

But I can’t. 

It’s never going to be right. 

So I must sadly smile

And turn away,

Always glancing back 

to make sure you’re safe.