Sharp stalking scissor-stress
Hot with fever, tracing my mess
The bile pushes at my lungs
The sorrow wedges itself deeper in my blood
Veins that tighten and push nausea instead of red
I feel the sickness swirling through my matter
Each cell a slice of pain and confusion
CUT ME UP AND SERVE THEM ON A PLATTER
I feel like I never said your name,
You only ever said mine.
So long we wandered around together, and
How much time did I spend
Trying to… hide?
I was a monster in love with my reflection now I will say his name and love the taste of the inflection please help me stop this sad obsession make me someone by making me no one.
help me release the fear
assist me in this shaking-step
be with me as i open up
let me feel these things, surely this
love cannot hurt me more than silence
I cannot let Others take the reigns; I cannot
Hand my heart, encaged, to be tamed
I will wall it up and keep it close and safe
no one can hurt me if no one can say my name
I don’t think I know anyone
All hearts are foreign to me
Have I ever even loved? Have I ever set someone free
Why do my heartbeats echo just to hurt the ones I need
You challenge me
You ignite me with sparks, they travel my bones
The windy wayward valleys of my heart and soul
I grapple with my understanding of you
Frustration and fear, longing and love
I face destruction and growth, courage
Of this world where every pain haunts me
You are now my weakness
One thing you did right
Was you loved my words.
You wanted to hear them
Day and night.
One thing you did wrong
Was you also loved her.
Was she on your mind
While I wrote of you?
I feel the shiver-heart so close,
Its echo rattling the prison cell
And I almost shriek for want of the feeling
But the moment passes, the tears die inside
I sink deeper into mire, unknown, unafraid
the dam inside relents, the coolness spills down my lips
my heartbeat flickers slower and the waterfalls collapse
my worry has surrendered, my stoic-flesh gives in
the tears fall.
do i pass through your mind when i am gone
I AM SCREAMING THROUGH MY VEINS, EVERY CAPILLARY CRIES
let the mnemonics die i don’t want to remember