Lord, please help me
Have mercy on your child.
I feel the crushing weight of wind;
But it’s from inside, it’s from inside.
Grant peace to my fluttering soul
Still my quaking heart of bone
Rescue me from this FLESHY PRISON
I hate my thoughts and how my mind won’t
Free me from this place of loss.
Send rescue to this island of thought.
I’m trapped here now, but there once was a bridge
I walked here on my own, or was I convinced?
I hate this place, the burden-sky
How heavy the weight of remaining alive
I’m tired of pouring, this pitcher is dry
I’m weary of helping, this world would not mind
If I shriveled and gave in and gave up and died…
Fill me back up
I can no longer try
A laugh, a smile, a burst of light
Quickly killed by the sand inside
I parade alive, but the stars have died;
I’m sorry, which me was i supposed to
I’ve left the feeling-place
I’m floating, or
I can’t tell the difference between
oxygen and mud
i don’t even know what to ask for, i’m
sorry, i don’t want anything
it is a crushing weight that pulverizes your breath
grinds your lungs to dust and leaves blood begging for help in your eyes
it is an exhaustion, an apathy, a slow-burning acid pulsating in your heart
it is an apology, “i’m sorry, i should be fine”
it is a distant echo of guilt
remorse for the lives you cannot help but impact
buried by nothingness,
the ghost of feeling consumed by self-hatred and
I ache inside by solemn knives
With wondering of tragedy;
Where does a woman, lonely, bide
As her killer stalks a block behind?
Where, distraught, do orphans, fraught
With dangers congregate?
To judge and buy or steal and lie
Just for a chance at life’s embrace?
Why, wicked, do the people live
And prosper; untouched, fine?
Why, righteous, do the prayers die
While Death our children kiss?
Why, evil has our throats bleeding
And somewhere, we’ve all given up
Why do we cry when eyes are dry
And laugh through rivers of blood?
Redeem us once again, o Light
And let us not despair.