it still hits me like deep chills,
wind that flows in my bones, without any right to frost my skin
yet it does, it does
the tantalizing taste of life, the lightning-bolt-belief of light
i feel as though no one has lived before me,
how could any exist in this same place
without crumbling into dust?
I swear my intensity is unmatched
i promise the iron that crystallizes in my blood is unmet by predecessors
who are you to challenge me? i can’t even breathe
this place is foreign and i will blink until the sun sets on
all these wasted words.
Struggled through another dawn, another break of blood and brawn
Cracked my own bones, split my own veins
Broke up my courage just to remain
And then I gave
until i could breathe under concrete and grain
Do you recall the times
You called out in the night
And your voice bounced off the walls,
And all around, in spite?
And you weren’t careful with your words
Because you thought
I was there for every wish
Every lost thought and brokenness;
i stalked your breath and kept your kiss
your secrets enslaved to my shudder and fist
you wanted relief but you sold the release
you are known by unknown entities;
Who am I? I’ve just been drifting through the fog awhile
Breathing in the murk, the hazy
All mess upped and turn arounded
If I stop writing I’ll be drownded
Starlight streaked into my eyes
And colored the heavens within my mind.
I reached for the sun but it was gone
Instead my flesh burned at darkness’s song.
Startled my fingers curled away
and the sickness inside screamed at the day.
I tried to cover my ears but found
my hands had melted down to bone.
In agony I closed my eyes
but wickedness within would thrive;
if I kept the light outside at bay
so I tore off my eyelids and fixed my gaze.
The stars burned fierce and electrified
the alleys my mind had once designed.
I cried out in pain and stretched my skin
to try and keep the laughter in.
Blood spun out and painted the sky,
all the darkness smiled at my demise.
but light bled in where veins had been
and kept my torn heart animated.
Re-formed then and born of light
my eyelids stars, my blood-light bright.
when darkness falls, I will show the way
for others struggling to find the day.