Spirit

I feel watery today, unsure of myself, unable to

Bring the peace I crave so deep in my soul

Who will help me? Who will hold me?

Not this earth, not these

Wanderers

As lost as me

Jesus

Is the only stillness

In this whirling chaos.

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Let your grace soothe me

Let its awesome, terrible power tear down my misconceptions

Knock down every walled-up presupposition

I do not want to live in a bubble of pain

For fear of it popping and the oxygen outside knowing my name

Take me somewhere my heart cries out for you

Fill me with your power, oh God, and your truth.

Not about me

At most, my pain diminishes me

I feel small, I feel nothing

I feel the nothing pulling me in

I know its name, its harmonies well up

They pour out of my eyes and stain my life

At best, the pain underscores the why

Without agony there is no joy.