Sharp stalking scissor-stress
Hot with fever, tracing my mess
The bile pushes at my lungs
The sorrow wedges itself deeper in my blood
Veins that tighten and push nausea instead of red
I feel the sickness swirling through my matter
Each cell a slice of pain and confusion
CUT ME UP AND SERVE THEM ON A PLATTER
I feel like I never said your name,
You only ever said mine.
So long we wandered around together, and
How much time did I spend
Trying to… hide?
I was a monster in love with my reflection now I will say his name and love the taste of the inflection please help me stop this sad obsession make me someone by making me no one.
The relief I feel
That the love was never real
Is as drowning and delightful as can be.
A burn that cannot be undone
The bitter taste that masks the sun
Pull back from the shadows and let the light in
Break down your walls and feel again
Through miles and miles of travel, stay
As far from comfort, love and loss
To bury the ache and shoulder my cross
I want to be breathless with loneliness
Leave me here and
Please just f o r g e t u s
I don’t think I know anyone
All hearts are foreign to me
Have I ever even loved? Have I ever set someone free
Why do my heartbeats echo just to hurt the ones I need
You challenge me
You ignite me with sparks, they travel my bones
The windy wayward valleys of my heart and soul
I grapple with my understanding of you
Frustration and fear, longing and love
I face destruction and growth, courage
Of this world where every pain haunts me
You are now my weakness
I am guilty of cutting up your veins
I close my eyes and sip the stains
I fill my heart with all your pain
And sleep unhurt while you
L i e a w a k e
I’ve fought a thousand battles trying to find you, searching for some infinite desire that would anchor me to another
I found nothing and no one
Just shadows full of twinkling promise,
Remnants of love; so I kept looking
And I discovered strength instead of companionship.
Dignity instead of desire.
Joy in place of longing.
And I am free of binding chains; now I search languidly, with expectation
One thing you did right
Was you loved my words.
You wanted to hear them
Day and night.
One thing you did wrong
Was you also loved her.
Was she on your mind
While I wrote of you?