I’ve fought a thousand battles trying to find you, searching for some infinite desire that would anchor me to another
I found nothing and no one
Just shadows full of twinkling promise,
Remnants of love; so I kept looking
And I discovered strength instead of companionship.
Dignity instead of desire.
Joy in place of longing.
And I am free of binding chains; now I search languidly, with expectation
One thing you did right
Was you loved my words.
You wanted to hear them
Day and night.
One thing you did wrong
Was you also loved her.
Was she on your mind
While I wrote of you?
what do I breathe
This mess of fog and disease
I beat my wings to cut through the smog
But instead, hearts around me bleed.
Who am I and
Why can’t I help
Why can’t I let this love
For a brief time,
The sunlight will graze my eyes
And my words will haze and thrive
And the colors will paint my pain
Roses and thorns and stains
The grating will give way to whispers
The blossom will silence the scream
i will reflect on the stars and on wonder
(do you love her?)
Until the aching returns to my dreams.
Traveling again to the memory lands
Alone or laden with new love within
To erase the taste of the past in my mouth
Like burnt sugar inhaled from the wind.
When will I be able to breathe again?
To shiver-shout my heart, or not
To cut away my distraught,
Disease. To sink and drown my ease
I must stop this reckless singing-breeze
And cuts through all my rationality
My bones feel clipped, my heart is sick
I feel the slivers sink and dip
My heartbeat gives up, my soul is undone
I am punished by the wind
I love but I cannot give in
Take the heart, cut and dry
Let the waters flood my eyes
Fill me up with ink and blood
Show the sunlight what I’ve done.
“You are good! You are good,”
The echoes clamor and clang
They thud, dully and dead
They promise me relief from the s c r e a m i n g
I n m y h e a d
Why, my rib cage has gone live
It glows with embers and eyes
My heartbeat tiptoes for fear of w a k i n g its foes
The gnawing grows wider and I cannot quench the fire
Every burning spark fans a flame to end my name
The silhouette of Acidheart brands itself on EVERYTHING