Island

I do not need to make all things so real

In an effort to anchor, I let everything

Feel

Personal, true

It’s crazy, it subdues

How can one person bear the weight of a billion wrongs?

How can two trembling hands

count the words of endless songs?

Two bony shoulders cannot straighten under the weight

Of every single human beings’ worst moment and mistake.

I must stop anchoring myself to loss

To suffering, and breakage, and torment without cause.

What business have I to empathize

With every one at once?

If I do not break to clean my faith

It will crumble, like dust, all at once.

what is Depressed?

it is a crushing weight that pulverizes your breath

grinds your lungs to dust and leaves blood begging for help in your eyes

it is an exhaustion, an apathy, a slow-burning acid pulsating in your heart

it is an apology, “i’m sorry, i should be fine”

it is a distant echo of guilt

remorse for the lives you cannot help but impact

buried by nothingness,

the ghost of feeling consumed by self-hatred and

absolute

emptiness

Refinement

Who understands but Yaweh
Who feels the depths of the agony?

I am broken and alone
Each human failed me, one by one
No one can stand the test of time
Of sleeplessness through these trials of mine

I callously discard them. I painfully disregard their
Deception, malice, unjust intent
Their abuse and neglect and abandonment

I ford the waters alone.
A single rough rock among river stones.