I do not need to make all things so real
In an effort to anchor, I let everything
It’s crazy, it subdues
How can one person bear the weight of a billion wrongs?
How can two trembling hands
count the words of endless songs?
Two bony shoulders cannot straighten under the weight
Of every single human beings’ worst moment and mistake.
I must stop anchoring myself to loss
To suffering, and breakage, and torment without cause.
What business have I to empathize
With every one at once?
If I do not break to clean my faith
It will crumble, like dust, all at once.
the deep undying echo in my heart and soul decides
just who i love, and how strongly
how low the current drags me and how acidic the teardrops fall
i look back at your emptiness and the agony is o v e r w h e l m i n g
i want to hold you and purge it all
i scream and claw at Heart
I beat upon the stars
inside, which do NOTHING AT ALL BUT HIDE
the pain i feel for whos and whys
i need to help or i will die.
it is a crushing weight that pulverizes your breath
grinds your lungs to dust and leaves blood begging for help in your eyes
it is an exhaustion, an apathy, a slow-burning acid pulsating in your heart
it is an apology, “i’m sorry, i should be fine”
it is a distant echo of guilt
remorse for the lives you cannot help but impact
buried by nothingness,
the ghost of feeling consumed by self-hatred and
Who understands but Yaweh
Who feels the depths of the agony?
I am broken and alone
Each human failed me, one by one
No one can stand the test of time
Of sleeplessness through these trials of mine
I callously discard them. I painfully disregard their
Deception, malice, unjust intent
Their abuse and neglect and abandonment
I ford the waters alone.
A single rough rock among river stones.
I doubt my soul will ever rest
Knowing there are those in eternal distress
How can I find peace when a wanderer meets
Such a fiery, empty demise?
I WANT THEM ALL TO REACH PARADISE