I lose my breath for the ways we wept
Carving our chains from the sorrows we claim
I curse my hands as they build my plans
The coffin sized for me that I lovingly heed
Each step towards my death I shriek as I grin
I cannot stop mourning even as I descend
Why do we not cease all this clamor and doubt?
I know what will save me but I grieve anyhow
We built our own tomb-traps but we gild them and stay!
filling the rooms with silver decay
Floating our corpses in gold-blood and gloom
We’re certain this death will not be the last
We’ve died so many times in the past
One day soon my bones will dissolve
The tension inside will relax and resolve
I’ll breathe out some sparks and light up the dark
My hunger pangs ceasing as my rib cage departs.
Someday soon my pain will end
Each muscle releasing the screaming within
And every candle glowing in my blood
will rival the stars again.
Someday the world will crack open wide
The flame-lakes will surface from the inside
And those of evil and sick power-pride
Will scream in the fires their own hearts designed.
The only thing that settles my heart
A-quake with rage at rape and hurt
Is the knowledge that evil (someday!) will curl up and die.
And those who turn not from it will eternally writhe
Left only to their own fitting demise.
Forgiveness is a thing more lofty than I
Thank God I’m not god
Would smite everyone, everywhere
In their err.
(Oh, how I burn tonight at injustice, knowing full well the depths it roosts in my own flesh. Lord, forgive the damned and make well the weak. Give us hearts that beat instead of beat. )
I want to die on a wintry day
Slipping out of the cold at the end of my life
At once to enter heaven’s blaze;
Ordained with you in a new summertime.
I have not written since we parted;
Though like as not the words still started.
But quill uninked cannot create.
And ink bleeds out when broken-hearted;
So all my thoughts abate.
Now writing then, do I declare
A misery no longer there?
Or do my words in fact call up
a step of grief entrenched, revenge?
Or is it all of the above?
A silver laugh, the moon is kind
It thinks my heart is silly, too.
Rest now, it bids, and later find
A love more true than this one lost.
If ever I doubt the way my heart feels
Once again, unbidden, to my mind will spring
the image of your body, lifeless and still
wreathed in flowers as the pallbearers sing.
Just imagining this in my darkest thought
sends daggers clawing through my chest
It makes me regret each time that we’ve fought
And the longings increase to give you my best.
So if ever I look at you without my heart twinging
I will remember again, life is so very fleeting.
This place is too evanescent to doubt
that my love for you should know no bounds.