I can feel myself
Healing, growing, and learning
It is a blessing.
Though I am not sure
What is changing within me;
Chaos is fleeing.
For the first time in
A painfully long nightmare
I can breathe freely.
There is not any
Panic blossoming within
Just a warm, slow peace.
Such slowness is rare
In my life it has been few;
I will consume it.
Steady, soft, complete
My heartbeat returns to me
Where it always was.
Whoa, what bitterness is this
Whose twisted thoughts have I trekked in?
Surely this darkness isn’t mine,
This want for aching, wasted time
Someday I’ll be solid, healed
Someday the nightmares won’t be there to steal
If the nights are silent, the days reveal
Endless screaming from the ones repealed
Some time night and day alike
Will toss their haunting-juggling storms
And all the worry and fear I despise
I try to bathe
In the shallowest of streams;
Why I cannot
wander and grow, wonder and know
i’m building the spirit inside
my king and my light, my guide will decide
just what paths i will take through this life.
It is beautiful, expensive; it glimmers
With all the promise of the storm.
From crushing olives, oil is born.
You know me like no other.
Your love searches my heart
And guides it through the rubble.
I whimper weakly, wrought of nothing.
The dark delights in my lack of words.
I cannot even think before you.
Your might is astounding, Your mercy undeserved…
I think I’ve thought a single praise but nothing grazes Your worth
Elohim Shama, I want to listen as well as I’m heard.
So deeply, fear and panic, pain
So surely I will fall again
Beat from my heart this ache and scream
For salvation, my endless dream
Help me see You first and then
The world around will let me b r e a t h e