5 am

The alarm breaks like glass in the quiet

I do not rise softly in the no-longer silence

Instead I wake bolt upright in thought

And remember


I’ve lost.



the deep undying echo in my heart and soul decides
just who i love, and how strongly
how low the current drags me and how acidic the teardrops fall
i look back at your emptiness and the agony is o v e r w h e l m i n g
i want to hold you and purge it all

without saying a word

I watch the stupid checkered shirts that look so good on you disappear down the way

Dark hair lost in the crowd

Part of my heart goes to sleep when you leave; a pint of my blood that will never bleed. 

And I want to remember

With every fiber of my stupid useless heart

That day you were around,

I was near;

You marched straight through the crowd 

and wrapped your arms around me

No words

No greeting

Just arms and contact and an exclamation from me,

Asking if you were alright

Because you never hug anyone. 

And I cherish that night —

when you opened up your heart to me

Without ever saying anything at all. 


I tread too heavily
I snapped the bitter twigs
I lost my footing, bruised a branch
And now they scream again.

Anger, anger, anger
And my breath breaks up the frost.
Fire burns inside, so hot
Dangerous to touch.

I just want to lash out at someone
Instead, I bite my words.
They cut me back and slice my throat
But surely words can’t hurt?