I am good for nothing else
Riddled with agony, an aching mess
Of cuts and gaping wounds, trauma and
Just threaded together, barely, by the strings of your grace.
Nobody can know me as You do, so I burn to know you
When the tidal wave of nothingness climbs its way into my lungs
There is nobody to give me breath except for you, King
You are the only reason I still sing
I feel watery today, unsure of myself, unable to
Bring the peace I crave so deep in my soul
Who will help me? Who will hold me?
Not this earth, not these
As lost as me
Is the only stillness
In this whirling chaos.
Let your grace soothe me
Let its awesome, terrible power tear down my misconceptions
Knock down every walled-up presupposition
I do not want to live in a bubble of pain
For fear of it popping and the oxygen outside knowing my name
Take me somewhere my heart cries out for you
Fill me with your power, oh God, and your truth.
Lead me to a place of
Utter dependency on you;
I do not want to be this scared little girl,
Locked up, troubled by every
Memory, every ludicrous possibility.
I sneer at those forces, the unknowns swirling around
They do not own me, their reality is unfounded
I am the King’s daughter and His grace surrounds
And that’s the
End of that story.
I will not let the thief take away my sunlight
I will not give in to the shadows or the bleeding
Nausea creeps in but I will stand claimed
Nobody can curse me when the Star-breather says I am Named
Cut me down
Dig up these roots
Strip the ivy away
Let the sunlight into my core
Rip the bark off every branch
Gut me, drain me, peel off all my flesh
Til sap and blood rain down as flame.
End the poison settled in my crown
Tear out my thorny heart, embrace it as it screams
Hold together everything as you pull me all apart
Break up every clot, shatter every knot
I beg you to destroy anything you are not
May my weakness perfect your love
May my screams lift up your name
May my sorrow paint these stains away
And fill my blood with day.
Ignite in me your perfecting scheme
And make me more than this misery