Hope

Whoa, what bitterness is this

Whose twisted thoughts have I trekked in?

Surely this darkness isn’t mine,

This want for aching, wasted time

Someday I’ll be solid, healed

Someday the nightmares won’t be there to steal

If the nights are silent, the days reveal

Endless screaming from the ones repealed

Some time night and day alike

Will toss their haunting-juggling storms

Aside

And all the worry and fear I despise

Will finally

Entirely

Subside.

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Happy invisible illness awareness week

I still feel fake

Like I am a parade

What business do I have

Saying I’m not okay?

As healthy as I seem… My sickness can’t be seen.

My poison had no name

So WHO AM I TO CLAIM

“I can’t because I’m lame…”

To pass along the blame?

It is so hard to accept, to know

That I can ever say no…

quiet

Usually, there is cold.

Ice and deftness, dexterity and chill.

But when the slow-deep comes, the fire

Lights in her hands. The warmth spreads

Through her veins

And cradles her heart. It squeezes

Like a vest, like a binding

The current carries her away.

She flickers out for a time

And the warmth

Stays; the tongues of flame

Lighting their own way.

Constellation

One day soon my bones will dissolve

The tension inside will relax and resolve

I’ll breathe out some sparks and light up the dark

My hunger pangs ceasing as my rib cage departs.

Someday soon my pain will end

Each muscle releasing the screaming within

And every candle glowing in my blood

will rival the stars again.