How hard is it to mend
A mind once bent and
Torn? Is it possible to sew
Each neural fabric, a mental
My mouth no longer allows a plea
A few eyes are all that’s left of me
Deathly primary shock, the ending freeze
Exquisite numbness is what will finish things.
Make someone a murderer. Distance yourself.
Each person ignores the ones they could help.
Dear one, knock!
Enter if you will.
Anybody sent by God
Does naught but bear goodwill.
How pleasant a task,
Every prisoner asks
“Let me go free! Absolved of all things!”
Poisoner or poisonee… we all need
I am not a belonger in this place
I cannot imagine a berth in such space
My heart twists and yearns, the greediness turns
But nobody knows better than I-
This place was not meant for my mind-
I do not belong, I should continue to roam
I know this Feeling is not my home.
Emotions are fickle, they twist and they whine
They scratch at our faces and weep from our eyes
I know not to trust them, I know they are false
Like the hearth of this Emotion will never be a HOUSE.
I do not I do not I do not
If they call this a home, I will
Leave this sand for the stone.
Let us love not with vigor, or emotion, or with zest
Let us love not with impassioned words and hearts pounding in our chest
Let us love instead with sorrow and the heartbreakings of heaven,
Each added soul a brimming whole
Of halves and broken edges.
Let us love with all our purpose and our glances and our restings
Let us love with every one in world envisioned like the best
Let us love like nothing ever happened and nothing ever will;
Let us love as wide and far as the east is from the west.
Like God in Earth heals our hurts,
Let us love
There has been no thing lost
That He can not restore.
There will never be so high a cost
That He would not pay for.
You are covered and renewed
There is only freedom now for you.
I am good for nothing else
Riddled with agony, an aching mess
Of cuts and gaping wounds, trauma and
Just threaded together, barely, by the strings of your grace.
Nobody can know me as You do, so I burn to know you
When the tidal wave of nothingness climbs its way into my lungs
There is nobody to give me breath except for you, King
You are the only reason I still sing
Let your grace soothe me
Let its awesome, terrible power tear down my misconceptions
Knock down every walled-up presupposition
I do not want to live in a bubble of pain
For fear of it popping and the oxygen outside knowing my name
Take me somewhere my heart cries out for you
Fill me with your power, oh God, and your truth.
Cut me down
Dig up these roots
Strip the ivy away
Let the sunlight into my core
Rip the bark off every branch
Gut me, drain me, peel off all my flesh
Til sap and blood rain down as flame.
End the poison settled in my crown
Tear out my thorny heart, embrace it as it screams
Hold together everything as you pull me all apart
Break up every clot, shatter every knot
I beg you to destroy anything you are not