Hope

Whoa, what bitterness is this

Whose twisted thoughts have I trekked in?

Surely this darkness isn’t mine,

This want for aching, wasted time

Someday I’ll be solid, healed

Someday the nightmares won’t be there to steal

If the nights are silent, the days reveal

Endless screaming from the ones repealed

Some time night and day alike

Will toss their haunting-juggling storms

Aside

And all the worry and fear I despise

Will finally

Entirely

Subside.

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Lord, please help me

Have mercy on your child.

I feel the crushing weight of wind;

But it’s from inside, it’s from inside.

Grant peace to my fluttering soul

Still my quaking heart of bone

Rescue me from this FLESHY PRISON

I hate my thoughts and how my mind won’t

listen

Free me from this place of loss.

Send rescue to this island of thought.

I’m trapped here now, but there once was a bridge

I walked here on my own, or was I convinced?

I hate this place, the burden-sky

How heavy the weight of remaining alive

I’m tired of pouring, this pitcher is dry

I’m weary of helping, this world would not mind

If I shriveled and gave in and gave up and died…

Fill me back up

Please

I can no longer try

Deed

I no longer crave the Roma-life

I want an end to my internal strife
I don’t want new colors, or feelings, or fear
I want something solid and safe, and real

I’m tired of thrills, of feeling these highs
The lows with which they are tangled are not worth the skies
I’m sick of the endless shrieking in my mind
I don’t want to be homeless, I want someone to

FIND


stop letting me wander. Give me a home. I’m tired of sorrow, the tragic-alone

Please someone convince me I’m sane
The world grows in volume
every
day

if I …….. this path I’ll be …. anyway

Mocha

She left and part of me went to sleep

I’m undone by four paws and a worn-out red collar

My faithful companion, lifelong friend

Thank you for loving me with all your strength to the end.

She took all my comfort with her

All the security of her protective grace.

Almost two decades of fears quelled by my tireless guardian

Watchful sentry, ageless soldier;

Furry tissue, perfect confidante

The best friend anyone could want

That old gray muzzle

Will never

Leave

My heart. I’ll love you forever

I can still feel you by my side (curled up perfectly like most winter nights)

Someday I may stop weeping

But tonight, the first night I face under this roof without your warm, snoring presence (my earliest memory is your excitement as we chose you at the pound; eighteen years is a long time for you to have been around)

The tears will flow until they irrigate the desert valleys you left inside my heart.

I can’t imagine life without your loyalty and bark

Someone tear this pain from me

AND JUST GIVE ME BACK MY DOG —

please.