Nostalgic Prayer

Someday I’ll look back and be astounded
Someday I’ll reminisce and be amazed
at all the ways my life has changed;
tears shed for deaths we all regret —
friendships, friends, desires… dead.

Someday I’ll wonder just what happened
Where all the sunlit years have gone
My heartbeat then will go to sleep
my words will breathe no more.

I long for absolution from the starrer of the skies
the one who galaxied creation
and all the colors in your eyes.

Let my skin cease to glow
the day my colors fade.
and otherwise my spirit grow
in love and mercy night and day.


To say the words

When will I cease being able to repress

The feelings I imprison, I do not redress

Your heart when you spill it like ink in my hands

I stare at my fingers bleeding your love like sand 

And wonder how long it will last. 


broken bits; human beings wonder if
we’ll ever be fixed enough to seem
like heartache is not unraveling
the seams we stitch to break our bonds
funny how we tie those knots
specifically to free ourselves;
and yet the prison remains.

we are cracked and chipped like pottery
the lumpy turtle kilned in third grade;
Pork Chop the pig named by pigtails
and all the in between.
And yet more perfect still are we
than over-fired pottery;
humans were made by divine hands
so no matter how we crush ourselves
we can always be repaired.

Pebbles and Spit

You are the everything to me,
You strengthen my arms and help me breathe.
Your presence makes my soul to find,
The peace to live this changing life.

The world says quietly, “Come away!
You have no time for Him today.”
But the yearning in my soul to be with you
Grows sharp in its anguish for your truth.

The shades become drawn over my heart’s bitter longing,
You knock on the door but no answer’s forthcoming.
The One that I need in all of this world,
I deny because “time” is a bittersweet word.

Please help me, be with me, secure in me grace,
Give flame to my heart to seek out your face.
Speak joy over me, and excitement, and life,
Let me not with the things of this world be enticed.

For the world offers emptiness in all of its gold,
Beyond the bright gleam is a truth rarely heard.
There is nothing, raw void, only emptiness, tricks.
You cannot make an ocean from pebbles and spit.