i’m not sure how i feel now that it’s revo,
and so many have left me to tor.
My heart feels tsol, ytpme, unwanted
and no one is still here to speak.
he left like the others, two winters ago
i still dream of him from the long before.
i see him in faces of men whose blood
never burned quite so black;
and from whatever traumas, they’ve found their way back,
but not him. not him. i still pray all the time
one day your heart will be healed
and maybe you’ll say
There are poems of love I will now never finish
Singing nothings that are now nothingness.
You did this, you killed them, you stole out their flame
Now silence must pay back the debt of this pain.
It hurts to know I
And the rivers I cried may as well
Have been blood;
For the hurting they brooked
Was as deep as a wound;
And my streams now have dried
to evaporate you.
Lord, please help me
Have mercy on your child.
I feel the crushing weight of wind;
But it’s from inside, it’s from inside.
Grant peace to my fluttering soul
Still my quaking heart of bone
Rescue me from this FLESHY PRISON
I hate my thoughts and how my mind won’t
Free me from this place of loss.
Send rescue to this island of thought.
I’m trapped here now, but there once was a bridge
I walked here on my own, or was I convinced?
I hate this place, the burden-sky
How heavy the weight of remaining alive
I’m tired of pouring, this pitcher is dry
I’m weary of helping, this world would not mind
If I shriveled and gave in and gave up and died…
Fill me back up
I can no longer try
A laugh, a smile, a burst of light
Quickly killed by the sand inside
I parade alive, but the stars have died;
I’m sorry, which me was i supposed to
Father, it weighs heavy on me
The numbness of this world
My soul is caught twixt earth and stone;
I’m not sure who I’m supposed to be.
I write, but no one cares to read
I call, but there is no answering
Someday I may settle this flighty breeze
But for now…
each current pulls silently.
I no longer crave the Roma-life
I want an end to my internal strife
I don’t want new colors, or feelings, or fear
I want something solid and safe, and real
I’m tired of thrills, of feeling these highs
The lows with which they are tangled are not worth the skies
I’m sick of the endless shrieking in my mind
I don’t want to be homeless, I want someone to
stop letting me wander. Give me a home. I’m tired of sorrow, the tragic-alone
Please someone convince me I’m sane
The world grows in volume
if I …….. this path I’ll be …. anyway