I felt again, your presence came
Your warmth renewed, no longer ash
In my arms, not seizing, not shrieking
Soft and living… safe once more
But you are gone. Each new breath, empty morning
You are torn from me fresh, the
Wound never closing.
Will I ever get used to your absence?
WILL I EVER STOP WISHING YOU WEREN’T GONE?
I almost pray you’d stop coming to me
Allow the blood to congeal
But if the only way you can be
Means me weeping over you in my sleep
Then bring me the dreams.
I’m sorry, I’m
still more than enough for you
and you felt you were never
i’m sorry for the hauntings, for the presence, for the longings
i’m sorry that you can’t forget and
just want to be friends
wander and grow, wonder and know
i’m building the spirit inside
my king and my light, my guide will decide
just what paths i will take through this life.
It is beautiful, expensive; it glimmers
With all the promise of the storm.
From crushing olives, oil is born.
I feel watery today, unsure of myself, unable to
Bring the peace I crave so deep in my soul
Who will help me? Who will hold me?
Not this earth, not these
As lost as me
Is the only stillness
In this whirling chaos.
Let your grace soothe me
Let its awesome, terrible power tear down my misconceptions
Knock down every walled-up presupposition
I do not want to live in a bubble of pain
For fear of it popping and the oxygen outside knowing my name
Take me somewhere my heart cries out for you
Fill me with your power, oh God, and your truth.
Lead me to a place of
Utter dependency on you;
I do not want to be this scared little girl,
Locked up, troubled by every
Memory, every ludicrous possibility.
I sneer at those forces, the unknowns swirling around
They do not own me, their reality is unfounded
I am the King’s daughter and His grace surrounds
And that’s the
End of that story.