I’ve fought a thousand battles trying to find you, searching for some infinite desire that would anchor me to another

I found nothing and no one

Only dust. 

Just shadows full of twinkling promise,
Remnants of love; so I kept looking
And I discovered strength instead of companionship. 

Dignity instead of desire. 

in place of longing. 
And I am free of binding chains; now I search languidly, with expectation


Of desperation.


Again the pounding waves

Break in;
Again the downpour floods
Each drop of rain a pool of rage
That stirs my aching blood. 

When storm clouds shatter, scream
Their loss

When thunder-bolts get lost
Each fraction of a lightning-star 
Burrows deeper through my heart. 

Leaves and crickets

I recognize that ivy!

No, ivy all looks the same. 

The foliage in my eyes has come and gone

And come again. 
Living in a swaying plain of monolithic grass

Of monsters huge enough to kill with a single crack

My smile brightly blunders through the aging sky above

And of all the stars within my soul, I can find no one to love.