I’ve fought a thousand battles trying to find you, searching for some infinite desire that would anchor me to another
I found nothing and no one
Just shadows full of twinkling promise,
Remnants of love; so I kept looking
And I discovered strength instead of companionship.
Dignity instead of desire.
Joy in place of longing.
And I am free of binding chains; now I search languidly, with expectation
Again the downpour floods
Each drop of rain a pool of rage
That stirs my aching blood.
When storm clouds shatter, scream
When thunder-bolts get lost
Each fraction of a lightning-star
Burrows deeper through my heart.
I have not had to beware looking up at the sky
For quite some time
For fear of raindrops stinging my eye;
“Welcome back, old friend.” I say to the rain,
“It’s good to see you again.”
Feathers, fierce eyes
Surprise and fear
Two creatures, clearly apart
To fall asleep with thoughts of you
While rain paints endless winding tunes
On all my windowsills
Is surely more than I deserve.
To wonder if your heartbeat sleeps
As soundly in your arms as I
Is a question for another life.
Slicing through the storm, we’re brought beyond, before
Rosy eyes and pale moon-white
Cheeks of porcelain dust.
Stabbing colors sicken me
And tears march to my eyes, you see
As suddenly then as I wanted him gone
I felt love blossom just as strong.
I recognize that ivy!
No, ivy all looks the same.
The foliage in my eyes has come and gone
And come again.
Living in a swaying plain of monolithic grass
Of monsters huge enough to kill with a single crack
My smile brightly blunders through the aging sky above
And of all the stars within my soul, I can find no one to love.
Over w h e l m i n g
Pulls me under; I drift in
Stars that burst in black and red
And drown my heart before I swim.
All these things and many more
Pain that lacerates my core
Falling trees in dewdrop lakes
Shake my soul and show your face.
My homeland is a sweeping gale
Thrashing waves of green and gold;
I see the endless plains below
Which cruelly cut my arbor-soul.
I belong in ever-shade
Of splintered limbs and hissing leaves.
My heart was left with evergreens
Within the sleeping trees.
Skin will shiver
Under cloying silver gaze.
The moon is sweet
Its cold defeats
The spiking warmth of sunlit haze.
Earth that breaks
Showered earth and dirty space
Grass that stretches toward the air
Fronds that glow from sky’s despair
Whispered secrets through the trees
Leaves that laugh upon the breeze
Raindrops dance from twig to branch
Down the trunk to drown the ants
Scritching vole that scurries slow
Wandering stream with storm in tow
An earth that tilts beyond the day
Returning life to sunlit haze.