The daylight is here and my fear
Should be gone
The darkness, like mist
Evaporates from the lawn
My star-gazing, sugar-cubes
Flung in the sky
The current of pain where the Milky Way lies
I should be whole and peaceful and still
Instead I choose tumult
and mudslicks, and the pills I abhor;
My hands gleefully wretched with dark oil-spills.
Let my heart still and stir the river no more.
what does my heart detest, this
whirling, weeping mess?
I feel the sleep-chalk draw its lines
the crumbling towers, cursed vines
my time is almost done.
I can’t continue to run.
we whisper to the nights when we
have any need to spill our dreams
the coinage drains, it coughs and stains
each numbing-thought deserved.
I don’t know why my soul is tired but my eyes crave seeing the world
I don’t think I know anyone
All hearts are foreign to me
Have I ever even loved? Have I ever set someone free
Why do my heartbeats echo just to hurt the ones I need
The angry burn will not release me
I try to sleep but the wind in my chest is freezing
My eyelids are heavy but the memories are heavier
I cannot let go of the past and the future
For a brief time,
The sunlight will graze my eyes
And my words will haze and thrive
And the colors will paint my pain
Roses and thorns and stains
The grating will give way to whispers
The blossom will silence the scream
i will reflect on the stars and on wonder
(do you love her?)
Until the aching returns to my dreams.
“You are good! You are good,”
The echoes clamor and clang
They thud, dully and dead
They promise me relief from the s c r e a m i n g
I n m y h e a d