Whoa, what bitterness is this
Whose twisted thoughts have I trekked in?
Surely this darkness isn’t mine,
This want for aching, wasted time
Someday I’ll be solid, healed
Someday the nightmares won’t be there to steal
If the nights are silent, the days reveal
Endless screaming from the ones repealed
Some time night and day alike
Will toss their haunting-juggling storms
And all the worry and fear I despise
Dark hands fetch
My sodden mind
Dark words fed
By sullen rhyme.
Alone and lost
Each numbed-up thought
Escapes to question me.
Who am i now?
What do I seek, entrapped
Here by my own
Alone and confused
The ripples elude
I cannot find
Each frozen stream
Unsourced, unseen, it
Tangles up my path.
I speak aloud to
Air them out
Though not a word is meant.
How do I leave? Who should i keep?
Why fight this all again? If i could flee
And be somebody, then
Who & where would I be?
If any wish could be my life,
What then would it look like?
Too many nights I lie awake
The serpents spinning webs in my brain
I shuffle my thoughts like a deck of cards,
Whistling out tunes about broken hearts.
I quarrel within, the milk-man begins
Bringing my panic in glass jugs and jars.
Every night I simmer, undying quitter
I swerve to avoid any glimmer in the dark.
I’m the one I need to leave
I had a dream, a choking-scream
It signified someone crippling me
Holding me back, smothering
It’s me I can almost hear the scream
Why am I crippling myself
LET ME GO PLEASE
We weep bitterly, sickly
At all the suffering on earth
Our hearts most finely tuned to death
And the successive flood of hurt.
I weep like glass is in my veins
I cry and scream til sorrow stains
My soul and leaves me haunted, pained
Like the flood will tear my heart away.
We shake our fists at God
We break our teeth with grinding
How could you? How could you
The aching is crescendoing
My pain is overwhelming
Yet I do not stand alone.
This was never my home.
The panic grows and swallows whole
the love lounging inside;
my soul instead desires death
to calm my raging mind.
the sickness creeps through every bone
splinters and stones, no antidotes
the despair seeps into each of my homes
through hearts and hands i did not know i hold.
We write to still the waves that break us up deep inside
We write to mourn the lives of those who’ve gone so long ago
With every rhyme I say goodbye
To someone I never knew;
With every word I don’t deserve
To breathe while others bleed.
I hate my human skin
For the evils it’s witnessed
I hate my perfect eyes
For their clarity of sight
I hate my strong young bones
For their ability to fight
I hate the fact that I can afford
To cry over foolish boys
While men turned sour from hate and power
Destroy such precious lives.
I hate us all, I want the evil
To be imprisoned in their own bones
But love calls me to set healing free
And so my prayers encircle the world.