There is something in me that wants to return
To the bleached white walls and the chemical-room
To the soft silent plain of the starched stiff sheets
And the endless night where I wake and sleep.
The waiting breeds new agony
But the sleeping-room brings me release
I warmly breathe in the numbed-up night
Where the painless hours finally find
Understand what I am suffering.
There is no one who loves as I Am.
The agony shattering me would stop your heart
I’ve shown you only a part of the pain I feel
For your cousins and loved ones and EVERYONE, ALL OF WHICH I HOLD
Who are lost.
I will free them at any cost.”
Oh, but when will we be home?
For In this place poison flows freely.
I cannot see it, hear it, feel it
So my heart must have died within me.
Take me home, take me home!
I grow weary of this world.
Its life is like venomous acid eating into my hollow bones
I no longer want to roam this world
Oh please, let me go home.
And why should I skip past the pain?
Why circumvent the grief?
I cannot know the brightest days
Unless the forges first refine me.