Island

I do not need to make all things so real

In an effort to anchor, I let everything

Feel

Personal, true

It’s crazy, it subdues

How can one person bear the weight of a billion wrongs?

How can two trembling hands

count the words of endless songs?

Two bony shoulders cannot straighten under the weight

Of every single human beings’ worst moment and mistake.

I must stop anchoring myself to loss

To suffering, and breakage, and torment without cause.

What business have I to empathize

With every one at once?

If I do not break to clean my faith

It will crumble, like dust, all at once.

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Citsorca

How hard is it to mend

A mind once bent and

Torn? Is it possible to sew

Each neural fabric, a mental

Storm?

My mouth no longer allows a plea

A few eyes are all that’s left of me

Deathly primary shock, the ending freeze

Exquisite numbness is what will finish things.

Make someone a murderer. Distance yourself.

Each person ignores the ones they could help.

Dear one, knock!

Enter if you will.

Anybody sent by God

Does naught but bear goodwill.

How pleasant a task,

Every prisoner asks

“Let me go free! Absolved of all things!”

Poisoner or poisonee… we all need

Miraculous, priceless

Eternal… cleansing.

P

L

E

A

S

E

.

Humility and sadness?

Will I ever

Be happy? My payments never

Seem to end

I cannot seek the resting, because

My debt will not descend

Have not I paid the dues this earth

Has called us all to pay?

Have not my sufferings yet been sufficient

Been enough- for a lifetime- each day?

I will wait, Palms upward, feet aching and bruised

I will surrender my heartache and tremors and

Abuse

I cannot see an end to this tunnel, nor a filling

Of my soul

Everything so empty now, I doubt

I’ll ever

Be full.

So I wait… in pain… and praise.

Home

I am not a belonger in this place

I cannot imagine a berth in such space

My heart twists and yearns, the greediness turns

But nobody knows better than I-

This place was not meant for my mind-

I do not belong, I should continue to roam

I know this Feeling is not my home.

Emotions are fickle, they twist and they whine

They scratch at our faces and weep from our eyes

I know not to trust them, I know they are false

Like the hearth of this Emotion will never be a HOUSE.

I do not I do not I do not

Belong.

Jealousypridegreedlustselfishness roams

If they call this a home, I will

Leave this sand for the stone.

Lord, please help me

Have mercy on your child.

I feel the crushing weight of wind;

But it’s from inside, it’s from inside.

Grant peace to my fluttering soul

Still my quaking heart of bone

Rescue me from this FLESHY PRISON

I hate my thoughts and how my mind won’t

listen

Free me from this place of loss.

Send rescue to this island of thought.

I’m trapped here now, but there once was a bridge

I walked here on my own, or was I convinced?

I hate this place, the burden-sky

How heavy the weight of remaining alive

I’m tired of pouring, this pitcher is dry

I’m weary of helping, this world would not mind

If I shriveled and gave in and gave up and died…

Fill me back up

Please

I can no longer try