I feel like I never said your name,
You only ever said mine.
So long we wandered around together, and
How much time did I spend
Trying to… hide?
I was a monster in love with my reflection now I will say his name and love the taste of the inflection please help me stop this sad obsession make me someone by making me no one.
I don’t think I know anyone
All hearts are foreign to me
Have I ever even loved? Have I ever set someone free
Why do my heartbeats echo just to hurt the ones I need
You challenge me
You ignite me with sparks, they travel my bones
The windy wayward valleys of my heart and soul
I grapple with my understanding of you
Frustration and fear, longing and love
I face destruction and growth, courage
Of this world where every pain haunts me
You are now my weakness
I am guilty of cutting up your veins
I close my eyes and sip the stains
I fill my heart with all your pain
And sleep unhurt while you
L i e a w a k e
But will you move along someday
When someone else is as bright as me?
As loud, as eager, as strange and chaotic
Why stay here when others are c a l l i n g ?
I’ve fought a thousand battles trying to find you, searching for some infinite desire that would anchor me to another
I found nothing and no one
Just shadows full of twinkling promise,
Remnants of love; so I kept looking
And I discovered strength instead of companionship.
Dignity instead of desire.
Joy in place of longing.
And I am free of binding chains; now I search languidly, with expectation
I want to love someone
So that I listen to them talk
Watch their lips move on and on
Hear the waves of sound crash down
Just ‘cause I love the sound
of their voice.
For a brief time,
The sunlight will graze my eyes
And my words will haze and thrive
And the colors will paint my pain
Roses and thorns and stains
The grating will give way to whispers
The blossom will silence the scream
i will reflect on the stars and on wonder
(do you love her?)
Until the aching returns to my dreams.
there is addiction running deep in my blood
it leaps and flows like springs of need
bold and bloody, begging goodbyes;
unseen, harmonic and jarring.
i stare out of wild eyes
I closed my eyes and the vision revived
Of the blood and burns on my flesh
Of the death pouring out of my head
Of all the burning and breath
I’m beautiful but I’m broken
And whoever loves me must relent
Must allow it
Must look away.